Not entirely sure what xine is... But you need to be restarting your xinetd..
Anyway, your problem is that you've only half enabled talk. You also need to edit your /etc/xinetd.d/ntalk file, and enable that aswell.
If you don't have an ntalk file you need to install the talkd daemon - probably listed as 'talk server'.
The reason you're getting the 'connection refused' is that when you 'talk' - it contacts a 'connection manager' which recieves your request and passes it onto the other user. The other user can then accept or reject your request, and it's all handled by talkd.
If you don't have talkd : disabled=no, then your talk request (talk <username>) ends up trying to contact a service that isn't running and your 'connection is refused'.
1) edit /etc/xinetd.d/ntalk - disabled =no
2) service xinetd restart
3) talk <mybuddy>