I'm sorry if speaking up for someone and against an asshat isn't acceptable to you. I'll gladly take being banned to keeping my mouth shut.

Q1. Do you know the difference between your arse and a hole in the ground?
If you can wear it as a hat, it's your arse.
Q2 What's the difference between shit and shinola?
If it didn't come out of your hat, it's shinola.
Q3 Do I shit or go blind?
You need to take off your hat or you will go blind.

I haven't seen my mother in a long time. She's an immigrant that still doesn't have her citizenship yet. God knows how long it will be before she won't be needing that ugly pink "green card" she has in her wallet. Even though she's not pure Spanish- and not Mexican Spanish- she did wish me Cinco de Mayo- and sent me an e-card.
Mental problems run in every generation of her family and a few of us- me, my brothers and sisters- have them also. I can't hate her for this, it wouldn't...

I live on the Chesapeake Peninsula about 1 mile from the Chesapeake bay.
My goal is to make to the Atlantic Ocean at Ocean City, Maryland and back in a day.
I know that I can go sixty miles in five hours. Using this and the amount I tire plus water loss and energy requirements I probably will hit a "wall" at seventy-five to eighty miles. My current best travel rates are twenty miles in eighty minutes and twenty-five miles in one hundred minutes.

"Calculus for dummies" It's a real book. Look, if you're a dummy, then you aren't going to be needing calculus.
That makes a much sense as a jock strap for a eunuch.