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How can I use iptables to NAT only the messenger stuff and NOTHING else
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MSN messenger uses port 1863. If you only want to allow MSN messenger traffic you should allow outgoing connection only to the port 1863 and allow incoming traffic only from port 1863 (on the outgoing Interface, the one that is connected to the Internet). First you should setup NAT, for that you can visit http://en.tldp.org/HOWTO/IP-Masquerade-HOWTO/
iptables -P FORWARD DROP
iptables -I FORWARD -p tcp --dport 1863 -j ACCEPT
The above two rules specify that your default forwarding policy is to drop the packets, however if the destination port is 1863 you allow it to pass through.