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Old 07-13-2003, 11:34 PM   #1
Brain Drop
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relationship advice


ok so heres a question. my wife is pretty normal i think, but on the rare occsion like today where we go over to her friends house and socialize with some food and ber and vodka and moonshine, right around the time people are starting to loosen up- like after a couple games of scatergories, and she says is time to go home ike shes youre moma or something and you know youre too drunk to drive do you just let her take control and let her take you home like youre her little bitch or do you say hey you can wait a little bit im having fun, you should be thankful im not insisting on driving after drinking this alcohol with youre frkends and just let me have my drunken fun cause you wont let me buy any weed you controling wench you.

just curios


edit: ill have to wait ill morningnt to read your replies cquse u=im tired now and i have to close one eye to type and ive got to get my dogs and my kid to bed and i already know my wifes bitch any way.

Last edited by Brain Drop; 07-13-2003 at 11:41 PM.
 
Old 07-13-2003, 11:51 PM   #2
synaptical
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rule #1: wife is boss.

just go along with her, after a while it'll lull her into complacency and then she might start letting you buy W instead of having to drink that nasty alk. (besides, she was right not to let you drive drunk )
 
Old 07-14-2003, 12:05 AM   #3
seabass55
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Talk to her about it when sober. Maybe there's something deeper. Maybe you're a jackass when you get drunk. Maybe she feels uncomfortable with you around her friends "loosened up". Maybe she's just doesn't like to party so much/late. Maybe she just wants to get you home before you're too drunk to get it up. Maybe she's just a bitch. Maybe you just need to lay the smack down.

Just ask her why. There's 1000's of reasons that we can assume. I don't really drink very much anymore but occasionally my buddies and I will have a "hank the tank" night and my wife loves being around and staying late even though she doesn't drink. Then again..I'm a fun drunk :-)

Sebastian
 
Old 07-14-2003, 12:33 AM   #4
MasterC
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I'm about the last person to give relationship advice currently, but I must say, you sure are a funny poster when you are drunk. Typo's galore, and the last part of that last sentence really cracked me up!

I'd have to agree with seabass on this though. Too many variables for real advice. Usually it's simple perception, intermixed with some bad ability to communicate (especially when inebriated). If you tell her what you percieve she is doing wrong, communicate your frustration about it to her, and listen (keyword in any relationship) to what she has to say about it; usually you can come up with a comprimise. The blame game won't solve anything, and the name calling game doesn't add to the atmosphere condusive to communication.

Yeah, now if I only "practiced what I preach" I wouldn't be half-way divorced (Luckily she'll wait until I can afford it to divorce me, but she's already long gone.. ).

Cool
 
Old 07-14-2003, 02:34 AM   #5
tincat2
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discuss it when you are sober. things don't get better on their own and ignoring an issue seems to build resentments that create havoc beyond the force of the original complaint. i know plenty of guys who get particularly hardheaded and inconsiderate after alcohol consumption and i know plenty of women who are control freaks(i want to say it's what they do-tell people what to do-but that would be wrong in a situation where the facts are not all in). in the clear light of day, you'll probably find each of you has painful ways and that the need is to respect each other for your strengths and help(not mandate ) one another to moderate shortcomings. again, talk about it.
 
Old 07-14-2003, 03:26 AM   #6
bulliver
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This forum never ceases to amaze me. Not only do you get the best linux advice on earth, you also get better relationship advice than Dear Abbey could ever think of.

Listen to those posts above.

Edit: if she doesn't let you smoke, it was never meant to be...


Last edited by bulliver; 07-14-2003 at 03:27 AM.
 
Old 07-14-2003, 03:50 AM   #7
MasterC
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Bulliver, wanna hear something nuts? That was probably a good 1/3 the reason me and my wife split. She smoked and I would rather stick my head in a teargas chamber (literally) than smell that, much less other "relationship-like" things.

Smokin just isn't for me, but even wierder, I don't give my friends nearly as hard of a time for smokin as I did her. Stupid, un-explainable things...



Cool
 
Old 07-14-2003, 03:51 AM   #8
bulliver
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Well, you didn't have to live with your friends....

I've found that most relationships, what's the word, convert, force, shape? you into acting totally different around your significant other than around your frinds etc...

It's just the dynamic.

Maybe I just haven't met the right girl...

Last edited by bulliver; 07-14-2003 at 04:06 AM.
 
Old 07-14-2003, 04:00 AM   #9
MasterC
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Which leads me to a good point:

SWM ISA:
Young attractive female Linux Admin
Must be able to sacrifice time normally dedicated to lame things to:
a: Go to the pub;
b: Recompile a kernel;
c: Upgrade X and Mozilla
d: Hang out with my friends
Must enjoy walking around the house topless;
A strict requirement: A dog lover;
Definitely, a non-smoker.



There's my ad, too bad it'd be cold day in he!! before I'd get a call from it

Cool
 
Old 07-14-2003, 04:05 AM   #10
bulliver
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Ha ha, post it anyway, you never know....
 
Old 07-14-2003, 09:12 AM   #11
quietguy47
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Don't forget, she must be fluent in other languages. Like C, C++, python, perl........
 
Old 07-14-2003, 09:13 AM   #12
trickykid
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Shouldn't post when your drunk.

No offense but I think I just lost a lot of respect for you Brain Drop, just from what you posted here about your own wife, etc.

That's all I have to say really except I truly say we should leave these personal type issues off the forums, especially if your going to post such postings like this about your own significant other, etc.
 
Old 07-14-2003, 10:02 AM   #13
slightcrazed
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Trickykid, I think I have to disagree. For someone like BrainDrop to post what he did on this forum I think is a testament to the sense of community that some people feel by being a member here. I am still relatively new here, so my sense of community is not to the level where I would post what he did, but I think that after a while people start to feel like they have 'friends' here. Confiding in ones friends about issues in their life is just human nature, so I can't really fault him for posting what he did.

But thats just my humble opinion...

slight
 
Old 07-14-2003, 10:36 AM   #14
Pres
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Hmmm

Well judging by your tone and your typos you were more than a bit loosened up. You were wasted, and abusive toward your wife behind her back, here on the forums.

So maybe she was doing you a favour by driving you home. Maybe it was time to go, she realised it and because you were drunk, you didn't.
 
Old 07-14-2003, 10:44 AM   #15
trickykid
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Quote:
Originally posted by slightcrazed
Trickykid, I think I have to disagree. For someone like BrainDrop to post what he did on this forum I think is a testament to the sense of community that some people feel by being a member here. I am still relatively new here, so my sense of community is not to the level where I would post what he did, but I think that after a while people start to feel like they have 'friends' here. Confiding in ones friends about issues in their life is just human nature, so I can't really fault him for posting what he did.

But thats just my humble opinion...

slight
But you do have to ask yourself, he most likely did it while he was drunk as he has never posted such posts before this one time and slur in his own typing of words.

I do feel this is a public forum where we have many members, but issues like this should be kept to either close personal friends/relatives and mainly expressed towards his wife when he is not drunk, etc (were only assuming). We don't have the whole story, she isn't here to post her side of the story, we only see his reflection of drunken words on a public forum, hence I feel should be kept off the forums in such a manner.

By him calling his own wife a b**** or wench on a public forum shows a lack of respect as we do not know her but were not here to judge or call her names.

This is a reason I feel issues like this should not be brought up on a public forum, not this one or any on the net. I think it shows disrespect as alcohol is clearly the influence here in his post.

I'm sure his wife would be really happy to see his post here regarding her on a public site, wouldn't ya think? I don't think so and she isn't here to defend herself in such ways.

That's my opinion. All I know, don't let it get out of hand, or I'm sure this will get closed in a heartbeat. We don't need a thread attacking/bashing someone we clearly don't know and cannot judge. And if he clearly needs or wants an answer, maybe he should seek professional help in the matter and not seek it in such manners as he did post his question/whatever you want to call it. As I can tell you right now, I only lost repect for him being drunk, posting a response like he did calling his wife names, then speaking of illegal drugs on a open forum while he needs to put his kid to bed while all being intoxicated most likely.

Regards.
 
  


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