Hey guys and gals, I need some advice on a problem I have so here goes

Okay I have this friend of mine, I've known him for 8+ years nope, but I have noticed something very different in his behaiour lately, He seems to enjoy putting me down in front of any girl he can get to talk to him, he just loves to cut into me at every opportunity he can get and I'm at the point were it's going too far and I donno what to do anymore, he is my friend but right now I don't know who he is at all, he is being a total asshole (this is without booze, with booze I want to kick his ass). I just get to a point were I want to grab him by the shirt throw him outside and just kick some ass.

This is a guy that is fine when there are no females are around, but when they are around, I'd rather be some place else, it's like he always HAS to be better then anyone else there, like he is trying to establish that he is the Alpha male of the group or something. I just donno if I should just stop being his friend and just forgot about everything and make a new best friend or what.

Input on this would be awesome thanks again people!

The conventional wisdom advice would be to talk to him. (Not have a few drinks and then "kick his ass")

Ask him to meet you for your favorite non-alcoholic beverage and tell him politely what is bothering you.

(Above advice acknowledged to be easier to say (write) than to do......)

We as a group have already talk about this, this has been going on for quite some time and you would think this guy would get bored of it, but nope, he just keeps gong with it, it's like he has unlimited fuel to burn on this. We have helped him through his troubles and now basically he is shitting on us so other then get physical I just don't know what to do. I am hoping a few hard rights to the head might fix his problem, but if this can be resolved without doing that I'd rather do it that way.

One of my friends from another group suggested I just walk away, it seems like good advice but I'd like to hear if there are any better ways to resolve this problem.

If you find that he is wearing outlandish clothes it is proof that he has become a PUA. This is a crap system for men who can't get women to get women. Does he use words like "negging" or "sargeing"? If so, slap him up the head and get him to a deprogramming centre stat!

How old is he? It sounds like either the above or that he is over compensating for low self esteem.

I agree. It sounds like an esteem issue. If you've explained to him your feelings on the subject, the only thing you really have left to do is tell him if he keeps it up you're gone. Then it's his choice. He chooses to keep or lose you as a friend. But whatever choice he makes, you have to abide by, otherwise he really will walk all over you.

This is basically the way my wife and I raise our children. They are provided choices, and not commanded for every little thing they do. It is explained to them that there are consequences to their actions, and their choices determine the consequences, positive or negative. This has worked very well for us, and both our children so far. For the most part, they make what we would think the correct decision is, because they know they have choices, and don't feel jailed and boot camped. It also works well, as many decisions are made as a family, and not just by the parents, which helps them feel included.

Those are great ideas, especially yours SlowCoder, I will try these out.

XavierP, he is my age 25, he wears everyday normal clothing, My clothes are a little different I never left the grunge or the rock scene, this has never had any impact on anything before, one of our friends dresses like a gangster..lol so It's differently not that, our group has mixed stereotypes.

Still sounds like he is trying to be a PUA to me. Putting down other men shows he is trying to alpha. What's his attitude to women like? Has it changed? What about his home life?

If it is a self esteem issue, talking with him about it may not make him feel any better. It may hurt the situation and your friendship more.

If it were me, when it comes up again and he is putting you down, try and just ignore it, and build him up. Talk about his strong points and successes. Letting him know that you don't see him as a failure may help him get through it.

Haha! I'm just imagining the group of you walking down the street! A gangster, a punk, and a "normal" guy! Funny!

He will do anything for a girl, if they asked him to drive from Canada to Russia it's build a car capable of doing that somehow. When it comes to girls he is whipped beyond whipped, there is no such a word for how whipped he is, everyone in our group knows and really doesn't care much.

This has always been the same, he has always been creepier towards women but if he sees someone get shut down when asking someone out he makes sure they know what happend, he likes to rub it in and run it in good.All towards highschool he freaked out most of the women out just doing weird things, like watching them, staring excessively.

Has for home life it always been the same, no change at all.

Actually a Punk,raver,goth,gangster and normal person and a gina...lol we get the occasional "What is this Halloween" comments but we just laugh it up..

Accept this guy, he is afrade that if he doesn't dress normal people will think things of him, frankly I don't care what people think about the way I dress if people are that shallow then I don't need there company anyways.

Sounds to me like he's got a tiny dick and needs to get laid.

Okay, seriously though, doesn't sound like a friend to me. If you've mentioned this to him before and he just keeps continuing, move on with your life without him in it. You're better off without him from the sounds of it and make sure he knows this. Don't leave people in the dark like this. He needs a wake up call. If you just disappear, then he won't understand why cause it sounds to me that he does have a self-esteem issue and he'll just blame you for not being his friend, not realizing he's the actual problem.

If it were my friend, I would have already told him if he didn't cut his shit out, I'm not going to hang out, talk or be his friend any longer and stick to my promise.

Really, must be a sight! I don't know what a "gina" is, but a couple of things come to mind.

I say, good for you! I don't dress grunge, but I do dress grungy. I have this set of old shorts that I wear every weekend. Paint stains, worn out elastic, and holes in all the right places. I wear them to the stores, restaurants, I work in them outside. I don't care much about what people think either. At work we have a dress code. If it weren't for that, I'd wear them there, too, along with my old grungy flip-flops. I dress for comfort, not style, as much as I can.

Hell yah. You'll find me in a t-shirt, cargo shorts and sandals 99% of the time. The last pair of sandals got replaced after the holes on the bottom got to bearable to walk on the hot pavement to and from parking lot at work. I'd go barefoot but most places require something on my feet.

And here I though all of you where business suit type guys...lol

I think your right tickykid, I think I'll just tell him for the final time and be done with it.

Hey tickykid, You aren't leaving us are you? I have noticed your profile is quite blank, it used to have stuff in it.