How Do Unix Gurus Do Stuffs Like This?

devUnix · 03-02-2011, 01:08 PM

Well, oh, not really, I mean, I do not want to convey any sort of offensive stuffs here. But, well, I came across something like this on a website and am posting it here. But the purpose is fun!

So, do you remember any such stuffs that you have come across or have you created them on your own and can share them here ?

Well, precisely it has to be a Unix / Linux thing.

Q: How does a Unix Guru do sex?

A: (STOP HERE IF YOU GET/FEEL EASILY OFFENDED)

strip
touch
finger
mount
fsck
yes
umount
sleep

MensaWater · 03-02-2011, 01:12 PM

Many would put "fsck" rather than "mount".

devUnix · 03-02-2011, 01:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MensaWater

Many would put "fsck" rather than "mount".

That is next to mount! I forgot to type it!

silvyus_06 · 03-02-2011, 06:29 PM

errrmm... nope ...this threadz ain't for me ..lol

cascade9 · 03-07-2011, 12:10 PM

You forgot a few stages, and really to be good at it you need a bit more than just the basics-

snice
talk
logname
date
addresses

Theres the basic, maybe after a while you can move onto this-

strip
touch
finger

head (for the sake of fairness and fun this should go both ways)

mount
fsck

swapon
swapoff
swapon
swapoff

yes
umount
sleep

There are also 'swinger' commands-

groupadd
showmount

The real fun is from combining commands-

gawk python
ckecksum tail

Some things you probably shouldnt just do out of the blue as well-

dump

Some you should NEVER do-

biff

Dont forget, it should always be-

free

Sumguy · 03-07-2011, 12:47 PM

Ah, the joys of Open Sore Software!

devUnix · 03-07-2011, 01:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cascade9

You forgot a few stages, and really to be good at it you need a bit more than just the basics-

snice
talk
logname
date
addresses

Theres the basic, maybe after a while you can move onto this-

strip
touch
finger

head (for the sake of fairness and fun this should go both ways)

mount
fsck

swapon
swapoff
swapon
swapoff

yes
umount
sleep

There are also 'swinger' commands-

groupadd
showmount

The real fun is from combining commands-

gawk python
ckecksum tail

Some things you probably shouldnt just do out of the blue as well-

dump

Some you should NEVER do-

biff

Dont forget, it should always be-

free

Great!

Sumguy · 03-07-2011, 01:18 PM

At least with Linux, you don't have to worry about diseases (viruses)......

RedNeck-LQ · 03-08-2011, 02:41 PM

unzip
expand
more
nice
eject
jobs
make clean

devUnix · 03-08-2011, 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RedNeck-LQ

unzip
expand
more
nice
eject
jobs
make clean

O! Yes!

lumak · 03-09-2011, 04:09 AM

Code:

if `usermod geek`; then
 whatis proc
 quotastats
 while [ x$COMMAND != "xDONE" ]; do
  read COMMAND
  help $COMMAND
 done
 read GENDER
 if ! `locate $GENDER`; then
   loadkeys
 elif `init -z $GENDER` != "interested";
   loadkeys
 else
   # Lets face it, you aren't going to follow through anyway.
   loadkeys
 fi
fi

DJRcomputing · 03-11-2011, 02:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cascade9

head (for the sake of fairness and fun this should go both ways)

ROTFLMAsciiO! Your reply has to be THE funniest "geek humour" thing I've read in ages. Did you think that up on the spot? Regardless, well done! The above? Agreed.

lupusarcanus · 03-13-2011, 03:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cascade9

You forgot a few stages, and really to be good at it you need a bit more than just the basics-

snice
talk
logname
date
addresses

Theres the basic, maybe after a while you can move onto this-

strip
touch
finger

head (for the sake of fairness and fun this should go both ways)

mount
fsck

swapon
swapoff
swapon
swapoff

yes
umount
sleep

There are also 'swinger' commands-

groupadd
showmount

The real fun is from combining commands-

gawk python
ckecksum tail

Some things you probably shouldnt just do out of the blue as well-

dump

Some you should NEVER do-

biff

Dont forget, it should always be-

free

You ruined my childhood, LOL.