I can run remote desktop connection from my RH9 PC and access my 2 XP PCs perfectly.

But when I run remote desktop connection from my XP PC's I can't connect..I get an error.
I tried to run the Desktop Sharing program in RH9 because I figured this is probably the Remote Desktop Server config tool, but when I run it I get an error saying "can not find KInetD. have you restarted KDE after installation?" I can't find KInetD anywhere in the services list or the packages list. I do however see xinetd and its enabled.

I tried VNC for XP and Linux and although it worked mostly (with the exception that I can't get the Linux Desktop to run properly from the XP access), however I found it to be extremely slow compared to Remote Desktop Connection.

Any help would be appreciated.

What are you using on the RedHat box? I haven't even heard of an rdesktop server for linux.

Well I haven't installed anything extra. Just what came with the distro.
If you go to the Redhat Network and check the available software packages there are a total of 1398 and under "r" it lists....

rdesktop-1.2.0-1 (show a Windows Terminal Server desktop in X )

This is pretty much exactly the same as in Windows XP. I can view my Windows XP boxes with Linux and I don't need VNC. Its much faster too. The problem is with My Windows Boxes seeing my Linux Box because of the KInetd component not available on Linux. I can't even see my linux box right with VNC, but everything works fine viewing the Windows Boxes from Linux.

rdesktop for linux is just the viewer it will not let you view your linux destop from windows. You will need to use VNC for that.

I know that...but there is another item in Red Hat 9 called Desktop Sharing and it has the same icon as rdesktop, so I thought this might be the Linux desktop server for viewing Linux in Windows remotely...but upon clicking it I get that weird message about KInetd not being found?
I have VNC installed and I can't get Windows to view Linux with it either it comes up with terminals not KDE, and as I said earlier its to slow compared with rdesktop.

Red Hat Desktop Sharing is just a front end for VNC. It looks like you may be better to get your VNC problem sorted out first.