Maybe it's a hardware problem ..
I've worked a lot with hard disks, meaning that I used to change/add like three hard disks per day to the same computer, pulling the IDE cable out and plugging it in again in the next hard disk ...
I had to change that cable at least once a week. The IDE cable are not so strong and they can tear up inside very fast without noticing anything on the outside...
So, try either change the IDE cable or better yet change the hard disks and put the first one on the same IDE cable with the DVD ROM and the second one on the other IDE cable.
If you get the same problems with the hard disk on the IDE cable on the DVD ROM => the cable is not good - change it.
If the hard disk on the IDE cable with the DVD ROM works fine and the other doesn't => there 's smth wrong with that hard disk
If it works, well that's it !
It is possible with a bad IDE cable that a one of the two connectors to work and the second one not to work(that's the case of a working DVD Rom and not a working hard disk on the same IDE cable)
Be carefull with the jumpers!