joeeer, in the very remote possibility that you are REALLY asking for help and are, in fact, not a troll, just very inexperienced in asking for help, here is a little personal anecdote I will share with you.
This week, I found a new and wonderful piece of open source. (It's called ODK for those of you who want a beautiful thing to play with)
Now, this software required me to get an Android device, which I don't own, so I stole one from my wife and an old one from my daughter.
I knows nothing about Android, having detested and avoided it since it appeared. But, ah! this piece of software has changed my mind. I still hate Android, but I loves the little ODK. Saving lives, it issss.
Ok, I downloaded the app and oops! I need a server bit called ODKAggregate which runs on something called Tomcat. Ugh! Tomcat, yuk! Java, ooo-ie, I don't like the Java, I hates the Java. All that ugly interface and JVMs, I hates it. I hates it.
But I loves the ODK. What to do?
I guess I'm gonna have to learn how to install Tomcat. Shit. I search frantically for an alternative. Ah! What about my friend, Liraz? Maybe he has a Tomcat appliance on his WONDERFUL WEBSITE,
www.turnkeylinux.org?
Yessss, Yesss, Liraz has one. I downloads it. Up it comes. But I still don't know how to install ODKAggregate. I has no knowledge. I fumble. I fail. Again, my manhood has been challenged and CRUSHED by someone's stupid install script. My scrotum recedes.
I drink another coffee, fortify my brain cells and try again. I say, "Why am I using Debian? Men do not use Debian, men use Slackware. I will be a MAN. I will use Slackware!"
I spin up a little VM with Slackware. I install Tomcat. Good, good. The plan is working.
I install Tomcat. I install Java. I install ODKAggregate. After many head bangings, it all comes up. I don't if it is set up right but a pretty picture appears.
Ah, scrotum swells to manly proportions again.
I try to send data. Server laughs at me, "Ha! Ha! Manly proportions! Ha!"
I am crushed. I spend 2 days sending data. Server spends 2 days laughing at me.
If I manually load the data from the Android device to my PC and then copy it to the server, the data appears and the server says, "Ok, my little friend, I will accept your offering." Data gets accepted and beautiful graphs appear.
Why can't the damn Android send the data?
Crushed, humbled, a man without any visible scrotum, I accept my fate.
I will have to ask for help on the internet. What a horrible end I have come to.
I will have to depend on the kindness of strangers. I will have to acknowledge that somewhere, out there in the vast sweep of the internet, that there is someone who is smarter than me and I NEED THAT PERSON'S HELP! Woe is me! Thank God, my parents have gone to their rest and have not lived to see the day when their unwanted child needed someone else's help.
It is not the Irish way. We suffer in silence the burden of our own inadequacies. We do not proclaim it to the world.
But, stupid arse that I am, have to ask for help.
I drag my sorry, stupid self to the Google Groups forum that the leader of this project, Yaw Anokwa, has set up.
I post my question, suffering the humiliation of knowing that all my ancestors are looking down on me in disgust. Some of the ghosts are threatening to cut off THEIR scrota to disown me completely.
I post. I add FIFTEEN SCREENSHOTS. I explain everything, I gave version numbers of Slackware, Java, Tomcat, ODK Collect, ODK Aggregate, I mentioned what I have tried, what has failed, I beg on my knees, kowtowing before this forum, exposing my uselessness as a human being, explaining that I am from the Third World and have no resources, that I don't know any better and someone, anyone, please help me.
I abase myself.
Then, I wait.
One day goes by.
Two more posts come in after mine. They get answered. Mine is ignored. I cringe. All my ancestors start yelling at me now. I cannot drown out their derisive laughter and their hate.
I am thinking seriously about going through life without my scrotum, when ....
An answer appears. From the great Yaw Anokwa himself. I am saved! I am saved!
I make the change he suggests, crossing my fingers, toes and scrotum.
YES! YES! YES! YES! Data flows! Data flows!
The ancestors mumble. Old auntie Madge says quietly, "you see, the boy had it in him all along. Just needed a little hand. We all need a hand from time to time. He's a good boy. He'll get better. Leave him be". She ushers the rest of the ancestors back to their card games and their drinking, winking at me.
So, joeeer, perhaps you need to send FIFTEEN FRIGGING SCREEHSHOTS and every step of what you have tried, HUMBLY, begging the internet gods, acknowledging your unworthiness even to be heard, much less to be considered worthy of help.
Failing all that, here's a link that you can try
http://www.wikihow.com/Ask-a-Questio...et-It-Answered
