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Old 02-11-2019, 05:29 AM   #16
Lysander666
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The problem is not the platform as such, but how people use the platform and how it draws the user in.

I have an account which I use for research and it was immensely useful during my master's degree for contacting people in the war-torn Middle East - a lot of them don't have the luxury to care about ethical data issues, they just use whatever the hell they can when they can. I hardly ever log into the account though, it's currently once every few months.

So FB does have legitimate uses but the problem comes when the user starts logging into it daily and habitually. Without being carefully monitored by the user it will affect their relationships with friends, their significant other, their worldview, their bank balance and their happiness.

I applaud hitest for deleting his account. He may go through a few days of withdrawal but that will soon pass and be replaced with a sense of freedom.

It's also a great way of finding out who your friends really are. When I deleted by personal account in 2013 I had many friends say they would contact me over Skype and email but they didn't. Making an effort for others has been replaced by convenience. Many people will just not talk to you outside of Facebook because it's too much work.

Last edited by Lysander666; 02-11-2019 at 05:32 AM.
 
Old 02-11-2019, 05:31 AM   #17
hazel
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I've never been on any of them: not FB, not Twitter, not Instagram....

What the heck is the point? We all need friends, but we need real friends not imaginary ones. A friend is someone who will put an arm around you when you feel low, not someone you've never met who clicks a button on a photo.
 
Old 02-11-2019, 05:39 AM   #18
Lysander666
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FB tried to redefine what having a friend meant, and they did, to an extent. Having a friend in the physical sense was appended by having a friend in the virtual space. Virtual friends can be exactly that - emotionally palpable but not physically so.

Forums like LQ are a form of social media, but they're just different to FB and Twitter in how they operate. In a way forums like LQ are 'more virtual' since most posters here don't know the identity of other users, let alone how they look or much about their personal lives.

One thing is for sure, I wouldn't contact anyone on FB at 1am if there was a personal problem. It's not for that. It's purely meant for showing off and lazily contacting people on the other side of the world [and grabbing data]. It's also very good for niche communities and cults. On that front, secret groups are where it's at. When I was on FB regularly years ago, I was astonished to find that FB, of all places, was where many of the occult communities [and many communities, one would imagine] congregated in approval-only groups which are invisible to most users.

Last edited by Lysander666; 02-11-2019 at 05:41 AM.
 
Old 02-11-2019, 06:23 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lysander666 View Post
The problem is not the platform as such, but how people use the platform and how it draws the user in.
Which is a good argument that the problem is indeed with the platform and how it has been designed and marketed.

The big platforms have monopolies. They snowballed, they have by far the most users, if someone defects to a minor platform, they leave their "friends" behind... that's a big part of how it ropes users in. The monopolies continue unchallenged.

That's how the likes of google and facebook have succeeded - by becoming "the internet" in most people's minds.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lysander666 View Post
When I was on FB regularly years ago, I was astonished to find that FB, of all places, was where many of the occult communities [and many communities, one would imagine] congregated in approval-only groups which are invisible to most users.
...and the site admins of course.

Nothing whatsoever published on those sites is truly private.
 
Old 02-11-2019, 06:50 AM   #20
jsbjsb001
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cynwulf View Post
...
...and the site admins of course.

Nothing whatsoever published on those sites is truly private.
While I'm not liking this place to Facebook, etc in any way, the admin here can also access any part of the forum, including private messages and alike.

As I was saying in another thread; the real problem is people substituting "real life" for a "virtual life". As in: once upon a time, if you wanted to "hang out" with your friends, you would physically go and see them. Nowadays, the Internet has effectively "replaced" that, and Facebook and alike are the "means" to have that "virtual life". Because Facebook and alike without users would mean a dead platform.

It's similar to the old argument "guns don't kill people, people kill people". The only problem with that argument is that, if those people didn't have the means (in that case, a gun), then they wouldn't be able to use it. You could apply the same to the "social media" debate.
 
Old 02-11-2019, 06:56 AM   #21
hazel
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I'm told there are private groups for paedophiles too.
 
Old 02-11-2019, 08:17 AM   #22
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I only joined FB in the early days because I was genuinely trying to keep in touch with university friends who were all working in different locations. Then I moved abroad and wanted to keep in touch with various groups, so it did serve a good purpose. Now, I never log in unless I get a direct message, which is almost never. I realized after reading this thread that I had not had a meaningful interaction on it for over a year. For the sake of curiosity I thought I would have a look at what my friends had been posting and this was the gist of almost all of them:

Desired Perception: Look at my amazing life and all the amazing things I do - you wish you were me don't you?

Reality:
- Here are daily pictures of my dinner - I eat dinner every day.
- The sun is out today and there is a park nearby - things look nice in the sun.
- I have a dog/pet.
- I have a bike.
- I am drinking another coffee today.

Etc. You realize that people are just posting everyday life and really boring things and then 100 people like and say they are jealous of their life...!

What is the point indeed!
 
Old 02-11-2019, 12:32 PM   #23
hitest
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cynwulf View Post
I never had an account on any of those "platforms" in the first place.

In my opinion, it affects human interaction, it damages society as a whole. The bad far outweighs the good.
I completely agree!

Quote:
Originally Posted by cynwulf View Post
Well done on getting out - the hard part for you will be in staying out.
Thanks, mate! I couldn't agree more, cynwulf!

Here are today's thoughts from my blog about digital addiction.

Quote:
I incorrectly assumed that I was not going to discuss social media. I was wrong. Today is day one of FB deletion. I am stunned by my reaction to the removal of FB. I am experiencing profound feelings of disorientation, isolation, loss, and resentment. I feel subtracted from my community; I am off balance and alone. I resent the masterful manipulation contrived by FB. As a recovering alcoholic I recognize the clear markers of addiction and withdrawal. My sobriety date is May 23, 2015. I will emotionally wean myself from the toxicity of FB. Digital addiction is real.
My Blog
 
Old 02-11-2019, 12:48 PM   #24
Lysander666
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Very interesting blog post, hitest. You will notice similar feelings to those who have lost or had to give up their smartphones.

I gave mine up a few years ago ago and I went through mild/moderate withdrawal. It was hard but I knew it was possible. After about two weeks I felt immense relief, mostly from the absence of pressure not to constantly check things. I felt in control.

These first few days will be difficult, but soon you'll know you've definitely made the right decision. FB controls its users, just like Instagram does, but by deleting it you have regained control. The next two weeks will be difficult because if you log back into your account, you will reinstate it. If you just hold off for those two weeks, it will be truly deleted [which means, in this case, inaccessible to you] and you will feel much better. You have taken a big step on the road to recovery.

Last edited by Lysander666; 02-11-2019 at 12:49 PM.
 
Old 02-11-2019, 12:56 PM   #25
hitest
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lysander666 View Post
If you just hold off for those two weeks, it will be truly deleted [which means, in this case, inaccessible to you] and you will feel much better. You have taken a big step on the road to recovery.
Thanks, mate! I'm gritting my teeth today. I know this will get better.
 
Old 02-11-2019, 12:59 PM   #26
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If somebody, anybody, will be less likely to communicate with me because I will not use a platform started by a person who refers to those using it as "Dumb f++ks" and "B++ches" and who thinks nobody has any right to privacy then, well, they just defined themselves.
If you use Facebook the founder has better ways of describing you than I have.

Seriously, get on with living your life, educating yourself (and, sadly, making as much money as you can) and ignore "Social Media".
 
Old 02-11-2019, 01:26 PM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hitest View Post
Over the last year or so I have disengaged from most social media platforms. The last to possibly go is FB. The problem is I have friends in a variety of communities. I am weighing the cost/benefit ratio for staying with the platform. I am leaning towards departure, I feel it is becoming a theft of time. What are your thoughts about social media engagement?
I stay away from it. Closest "social media" activity I have are forums, especially LQ, and a few blogs. If someone wants to communicate with me, they can call, email, send a text, or speak in person.

Last edited by ChuangTzu; 02-11-2019 at 01:45 PM. Reason: added ""
 
Old 02-11-2019, 01:29 PM   #28
ChuangTzu
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Quote:
Originally Posted by frankbell View Post
I have a Facebook account. I go to it once a month to publicize an event that I host, as many of the persons who attend are members of its Facebook group (if you are going to do outreach, you have to reach out where the people are).

Other than that, it's been years since I've done anything else with said account at the Zuckerborg.

I answered the survey, using a private browser window to be cautious. I am confident that my loathing of "social" media will be apparent to whoever analyzes my answers and you should too.

If Facebook serves a purpose, it is this: it makes Google look almost virtuous.
I have not looked into this and it could be just as bad, but it does come up in alot of search results... https://www.meetup.com/
 
Old 02-11-2019, 01:34 PM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChuangTzu View Post
I stay away from it. Closest social media activity I have are forums, especially LQ, and a few blogs. If someone wants to communicate with me, they can call, email, send a text, or speak in person.
but these things are not "social media" -- they are communication and are as anonymous as "a good chat in the line at Tesco". Or the many hackspaces out there.
Communication and community are not based upon sharing pictures of food and memes about televisio for the benefit of scum.
 
Old 02-11-2019, 01:37 PM   #30
ChuangTzu
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 273 View Post
but these things are not "social media" -- they are communication and are as anonymous as "a good chat in the line at Tesco". Or the many hackspaces out there.
Communication and community are not based upon sharing pictures of food and memes about televisio for the benefit of scum.
Exactly, I added "" for context.

Last edited by ChuangTzu; 02-11-2019 at 01:45 PM. Reason: added wink
 
  


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