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Old 02-03-2004, 12:30 PM   #1
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Red face My Boyfriend is Linux-addicted, please help me!

Hello guys!
Well I have a serious problem with all that Linux stuff. About a year ago, my boyfriend decided to switch to Linux (I think it's Slackware) from windows. Since then he is spending a GREAT deal of time in front of his computer. When I ask for some attention he uses to tell me " Ok give me 5' to compile this application" and it turns to be 5-6 hours....My patience is over and before destroying his PC I would like to ask you, how do you come up with this problem. I mean to say( guess most of you are male) how do your girlfriends or wives tolerate you?

Thanks for your attention
Old 02-03-2004, 12:40 PM   #2
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ok well sorry to hear that your b/f is not giving you the attention you require, but you should have put this in the General fourm, cause this really isn't a linux issue per se, and i think a mod will move it to the General fourm ..
maybe someone will give you an answer your looking for, but i don't relate to your situation, but i just wanted to point out to keep "non-linux" problems out of the fourms required for problem solving, and to post in the General fourm in the future ..
Old 02-03-2004, 12:45 PM   #3
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My wife tollerates me because she doesn't have to "tollerate" me

I don't spend "all this time" on this site or on my computer.

I love my wife and she loves me.

You really need to "talk" with your boyfriend. One of the biggest problems with people and relatioinships today is that they don't communicate enough.

Let him know that.

If he views you as more important than the computer he will stop, or really tone down the amount of time he spends doing this. If he does not, he's not worth the the time of day.

Old 02-03-2004, 12:54 PM   #4
Registered: Aug 2003
Location: Belguim, Ostend and Ghent
Distribution: Ubuntu
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Whitehat, I think you're overreacting a bit...
I really love my girl, but still it happens... If I am behind my pc when she's asking some attention, she always does this annoying things(e.g. blowing in my ear, ...). Ussually she persists till I can't resist giving her a hug and a kiss.
Strange beings those women...
Old 02-03-2004, 12:55 PM   #5
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Do what my girlfriend tells me, when she's home, its Kelley time.. when she's not home, I'm allowed to dork out all I want. Be upfront about it though and tell him how you feel. If it doesn't change, well, your gonna find another guy that will pay attention to you..

I find threats of taking away something always works with me, cause then I get scared cause if you knew my girlfriend, she's not bluffing with me.

Good luck!
Old 02-03-2004, 01:53 PM   #6
Registered: Dec 2002
Location: Johnstown, Co
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lol. actually, funny thing is, i dont currently have a girlfriend, lol. not because of linux, but because im very busy with school, and after school i do some work on a CGI movie project in which i spend all my free time doing 3d models, and i run a website.

tell you're boyfriend to switch to SuSE, lol. i use slackware 9.1 now, but i find suse 9 easier and faster, no need to compile apps.
Old 02-03-2004, 02:12 PM   #7
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Ma'am, listen to me:

There really isn't much you can do, except sit him down with everything distracting turned off, and talk to him. Tell him you feel about the situation, and your feelings on it. Nine times out of ten, guys will sit down and actually listen, despite what most women say about men not listening. I used to have the same problem with my wife, I would tell her I'd be done in five minutes, and then be done in five hours. The two things that helped us remedy the situation, was this: I got her interested in linux, at the same time, getting myself away from the computer more and more until I learned to seperate time with the computer and time with my wife. Once that happened, my wife and I came to common grounds. She knows that I'll sometimes spend hours on the machine, but when she says enough is enough, I simply turn off the monitor, and spend time with her. Sometimes, we will spend time together going over computer stuff, like linux and my senior project, which is a new operating system. Also at the same time, I have become more interested in her hobbies, shopping, talking to her friends, etc. It's really a matter of knowing when to stop. Sit him down, talk with him, and work with him. If he is worth it, he will get the hint and start separating the two, and if not, the boy has some serious issues that only he can address to himself, while you can go and find a new man. However, try to understand that linux is a hobby, in fact, and wonderful hobby of mine even. If he does understand, give him the time to change, becuase it will take time, a LOT more time than overnight.
Old 02-03-2004, 02:49 PM   #8
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Thumbs up

i tell me wife to get over it!!! all she wants me to do is watch tv with her anyways....
Old 02-03-2004, 02:55 PM   #9
Registered: Aug 2003
Location: Belguim, Ostend and Ghent
Distribution: Ubuntu
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Originally posted by heartsglory
...Sit him down, talk with him, and work with him. If he is worth it, he will get the hint and start separating the two, and if not, the boy has some serious issues that only he can address to himself, while you can go and find a new man...
Bwah, at one point I think you are right, you have to talk about it. On the other hand, don't do what these guys tell you to do about breaking up when he is not listening. This is a problem every girlfriend of a Linuxaddict (and many others as well) has to face and only few don't find a solution. So don't immediately fight or make an argument about it, try to attract his attention otherwise...
Old 02-03-2004, 03:02 PM   #10
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I solved that problem in a few steps with my wife-to-be:

1 - Get her interested in computers in general
2 - Show her some games...get her hooked (Sims worked there...but she moved up into Magic The Gathering, SimCity and Baldur'sGate)

After step two, we could play all day...and we'd be doing things "together" which was cool. We also did other things (I don't like just gaming day in and day out...but she was hooked enough that my binges were tolerable) continue my evil plan:

Step 3 - Introduce her to linux (frozen-bubble does this sooo well)

This step wasn't as much of a success as I had hoped, but at least she uses it now and again...but she's not cured of Microsoft yet.

Step 4 - Buy two really good laptops.

This was the, we both have 2 great laptops (I had to buy two because if I bought one, she'd be jealous of mine...if I bought HER one..I'd be jealous of hers...the dangers of two geeks in the house)

Now...doesn't matter what we do...we're together...we talk, we do things...but if she wants to watch a chick flick, I watch with her..but I play on my laptop She does the same when I put on StarTrek...

Its we're just looking for some cool network games to play together (what makes a good game tough to find is we want a "cooperative" mode...she doesn't have much fun getting shot at by me)
Old 02-03-2004, 04:14 PM   #11
Registered: Aug 2003
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Well guys, I have quite the opposite problem:

My giflfriend actually likes watching me mess around with Linux. I think, however, if she sat there for several hours watching me do something in the CLI she would get a little pissed at me. She doesn't seem to mind my Linux addiction: or my Anti-Microsoft rants: I got a little disenheartened when she got a PocketPC rather than the open source Palm Piolot. Sure, she has gotten a little irate when i jump up in the middle of a movie to check to see if whatever the hell I am compiling that day is done but she just sees it as part of who I am. As for advice for you poster..... I would say just tell him that you wish he could scale the Linux thing down. All guys here :heart: Linux I am sure... but there is more to life than Linux, I'm sure he will see that and give you some time, maybe designated 'no Linux time' PS ask him about Linux... the concepts ideas etc. any linux geek loves to talk about his hobby/addiction... who knows, you may wanna try it
Old 02-03-2004, 04:17 PM   #12
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Poor attempt at trolling.
Old 02-03-2004, 04:18 PM   #13
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Ahhhh.... The age old problem of a computer geek and his girlfriend... I have had this problem in the past quite a few times. elluva is right. I wouldn't listen to most of what people say around here. Tho they are right in certain areas... Linux is an addiction for some people. I spend ALL of my free time installing new distros and "compiling" programs... Maybe thats why I don't have a girl right now.. You feel like you are competing with a machine, huh? Don't understand it, do you? I've found that women are pretty good at ultimatums.... Pose one and I'm sure he'll get the hint. Of course, that will always lead to hard feelings of being denied something that he really enjoys doing.... It's a compromise.... intiated by a serious/heart-to-heart talk.... You'll figure it out. Or he'll figure it out when he finds that your stuff is missing from his apartment...... I would always wait until she went to bed and then stay up all night...
Old 02-03-2004, 04:23 PM   #14
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Originally posted by tcaptain
Its we're just looking for some cool network games to play together (what makes a good game tough to find is we want a "cooperative" mode...she doesn't have much fun getting shot at by me)
Warcraft 3, great game. I'd recommend it, since you can play with any combo of up to 16 players(Including bots to fill up spaces if you'd wish). The teams can be humans vs computers, ffa, humans & computers against humans & computers, etc. I'd definately have to say that I love WC3, but I kinda got addicted to it. Now that the addiction's over, I occasionally play it.

Now back to the original topic:

You'll have to take note that I'm just a highschooler, so this may be worth squat, but here's my shot:
Hook him on something else that'll override his addiction he has right now. Or whenever you get the chance, steal the powercord for his computer when it's shut off sometime. Or maybe try to compromise by saying something like "Only x amount of time on the computer, or I'm turning it off regardless of what it's doing." Because I'd be more willing to walk away with it doing nothing than somebody turning it off while I'm in the middle of configuring something.
Old 02-03-2004, 04:32 PM   #15
Registered: Dec 2003
Distribution: Gentoo / Slackware
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Guys come on... If you have a girlfriend that wants your attention, give it to her. You should be happy that you have one, and that she has tollerated you so far. Don't put girls and computers at the same level. Give them attention, make them feel better then a piece of technology and spend time with them. You'll have plenty of time with your computer.

I spend quite a bit of time on my comptuer (Yes, I use slackware), but if a girl wants my attention, I give it to her.

I agree with the others, talk with your boy friend. Have him choose between you and the computer ; ).


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