Wow, Chinaman, that was a MEGA Linux rant... we need to see more of those! Thanks!

Uh-oh (I can't believe I'm doing this). This is based off real life experiences not just the internet. Wasn't quite sure what a troll was, but by reading the others I think I get it. If this doesn't fit the category right, just let me know and remove the post.

Here it goes:

Gosh!!! I just bought this AMD 64 laptop from emachines, and like my friend said I should switch to linux. I said right back like, "Man!!!!!! Duuuude!!!!? I'm not going to pay 200 dollars for a stupid OS!!! I mean I understand the advantages of linux and all, and mandrake move was ok, but I mean, I can't even go to homestar or anything because it doesn't stupid have internet. I like tried it with my friend once, and it was ok but, there are so many programs that linux doesn't have that I use all the time. Why would I even use my computer if I couldn't use Internet Expolorer ("the best program ever") and Microstuff Word ("like the second best program ever"). And, I mean, you know i downloaded photoshop, what am i gonna use for that huh!!!? I mean, there's other essentials to life that don't come with linux, like excel, and powerpoint. Most importantly, what about the important stuff that really matters, like half-life two, doom 3, and warcraft. I wouldn't be able to use my starcraft map hacks in linucks. Ahh!

Oh, and that guy that lost his XP home product key, after mandrake, we just went back to windows. He bought XP Pro! (Isn't that pretty sweet). I'd better go buy XP Pro x_64 so I can be better than him. Who would want to use linux on their Athlon 64 when they could be using an OS designed for my superior 64-bit processor?

End Ramble *phew*

slackwarebilly

(kinda funny how this guy I know didn't want to pay 200 dollars for linux. (?)/ He proceded with his friend who had lost his XP license to spend 200 or 300 dollars on an XP Pro full install. Ahh!

Okay, who won the kon test? Seems that Literati Forums don't have nutin bout it nether. And while ur at it, this new osperating system you've hooked into -- why is it named after a man and a woman? Something fishy there. Well, thar is some fellers back where we came from named thar yungun Nos Mo King. Seemed lik a guud thang at the furst...

Well, just so them modernraters has sompin to do, make a knote bout the kon test, ok?

I got to git this new karnel, senc chikin and korn is my favurets!

Ad it: I also hard that Debian was rely unstable...

Definitely. Less than 50% of the symbols in your message consist of digits and other odd characters meant to be viewed upside-down and backwards...

Load your iPod with Brittney Spears music (sic) and try again.

Has anybody read the UNIX-HATERS Handbook? I'm reading through that and it's got to be one of the biggest trolls I've ever seen.

I'm not sure if this is appropriate, but I wrote this five months ago and originally posted it on the Ubuntu Forums:

The Chinese Language is not "Ready for the Desktop"

Why can't Chinese just be simple like English?

I mean, everywhere I go people are speaking English. If I need help, I can always ask questions about English. English is taught in schools, and most of the bookstores stock books in English.

Chinese just isn't ready for ordinary people. Maybe linguists can use Chinese as a hobby language, but I mean--come on--Chinese doesn't even have an alphabet. How is Joe Sixpack going to learn Chinese? Ordinary people don't want to learn a language; they just want to use it. They want a language that "just works" out of the box.

In the past thirty years, I've had only a few small problems with English. It's almost always done what I wanted it to do. The few times I've tried to speak Chinese, though, I've just had people laugh at me and tell me to read the f'ing manual. I don't want to have to take a Chinese-speaking certification class just to try to fix my broken Chinese.

People just need to give up already. English is here to stay and gets lots of third-party support. In fact, when I travel to other countries, they usually speak English there, too. You can't really survive traveling to other countries if you speak Chinese.

Also, Chinese just overwhelms you with the options. Do you really want to have to decide between Mandarin, Cantonese, Taiwanese, and all the other local dialects? Sure, English has a few phrases that aren't shared between the British XP and the American 2000, but at least they can understand each other. People don't like choice. They like a single language.

Chinese is just not ready for the desktop, folks. It doesn't matter if 1/6 of the world's population speaks it...

LOL. This thread is hilarious! I might write one later.

Isn't that an understatement!

I can understand that Chinese is not even ready for the world. It was designed that way. Now Chinglish is another story altogether!

Some people come to Kunming with an "English only" attitude; and usually run home to Momma. Most Kunmingren are "nong min" and don't even speak Chinese (Mandarin to those in the Middle Kingdom), they speak Kunminghua.

If you'd like to find the equivalent in America, go south of I-10 in Louisiana and find Boudreaux in his pirogue and let him sling a little Cajun at you ... you'll soon learn there are dialects in America that are further apart than "British XP and American 2000" for sure.

It's not important to learn the local dialect, or even the national standard, to run your computer; it's important to survive, stay sane, and have peace with those around you.

I have built computers with "Chinese on the desktop" -- they use both Jianti and Fanti, and work quite well. Only problem is, "wo kan bu dong Hanzi!"

I know you were just "whistlin' Dixie," so consider my post to be the same.

And that feller who came up with Pinyin!! What in the world was he smoking???

Umm... make that two-sixth of world`s population.

You're saying China makes up 1/3 of the world's population?

According to this website, it's more like 1/5.

Being Story Number 42 in the Chronicles

You make me sick. You damn ancient evils are all alike, all full of hot air. Go ahead, rise up and smite me, why don't you. You pansy. Are all of the Old Ones little sissy-boys like you? That's why you're all hiding. You dumbass. I oughtta teach you a lesson. Now I know why R'lyeh didn't get one of the NFL expansion teams. You're a bunch of loser has-beens.

What? Are you talking to me? Are you talking to ME? Why don't you just go back to your non-Euclidean apartment, it's probably all done in pastels, isn't it, ya fairy. I ain't afraid of you. Ya see, I'm working with Them.

Oh, trying to make nice now, aren't you? Whaddya doin', calling up some of your fungi buddies? Can't take me yourself, is that it? I knew it. Well, I'm under Their protection, so even if I couldn't kick your ass from here to Yuggoth without even MOVING, when They found out what you did They'd come down on you so hard you'd think... well, something bad would happen, anyway. To you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've heard it all before. You may think the Committee Man is on your team, but They've got something he wants, and he won't cross them. Not to save your sorry ass. You're just a bit player in this game, Kapoopoo or whatever the hell your name is, and that's all you'll ever be. Now either give me my lottery ticket or give me my dollar back, or I'm calling the manager.

No, read it again. He replied to your comment "It doesn't matter if 1/6 of the world's population speaks it..."

More speak it than live in The Middle Kingdom.

But I seriously doubt it's 1/3 -- too arcane a language. Useless for programming. Too many disfunctional dialects.

Getting the wrong end of the stick

Hello I’m Linux de Troll and I live in a lovely little cave over looking de fjords and I would like to tell what happened to me de oder day. Diz strange beardy chap told me dat Linux iz a penguin, so I hit him wid my number three club, now dat’s what I call a good download. It was such fun watching him byting in and out of consciousness accompanied wid a high pitched squeak. After a few minutes of rolling about on de floor he got up and said dat it didn’t take long because I have a broad back, I did tell you he was strange, didn’t I?

Den he went on to say dat now you have been updated to de latest Colonel you’ll run much faster. He went on to say how I could become a famous hacker, I liked dat because I’m a real fan of hacking and slaying.

He started to walk out and said to me in a strange voice wid cave like echoes, usually reserved for B movies, “In a world wid out gates, who needs windows?” Well I like my windows it gives me a lovely view, one may even call in a vizta experience, well dat’s what my big broder Dos calls it. Anyway dat’s what happened to me de oder day, sorry for any typing miztakes but you try using a keyboard wid size fifteen fingers.

The population of the world is roughly 6 billion - population of India is over a billion and that of China is roughly two billion. 2/6th is what I said.

Excuse me, eh?

1,313,973,713 / 6,525,170,264 = 0.201370027116

So right, it's actually 1/5 of the world's population.

1 / 6 = 0.1666666666666667

2 / 6 = 0.3333333333333333

And the winner is .................. aysiu