I hazard a guess that this "debian log in screen" is xdm. Had you installed x-window-system-core instead of x-window-system, then you wouldn't have got xdm.
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does anybody know how to get rid of that debian log in screen?
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Switch to console (Ctrl-Alt-F1), log in, "su" to root and run "update-rc.d -f xdm remove". Then reboot.
After rebooting and logging in, you can do:
echo "exec icewm-session" > ~/.xinitrc
and then you can do "startx" to start icewm.