I happily run slackware on a number of servers.
The clearest way of otimizing it from my perspective is using an expert install and literally only installing stuff you truely need. Don't install anything that is not "required/recommended".
From there, go about stopping any services that you don't require, looking at startup scripts and cron jobs that are there by default.
Then either install from slackware packages or compile from source the services that you require, e.g. apache 1.3.31 from http://www.linuxpackages.net
or compile from source.
so i'd like to know what and where to get it.
To be honest, if you're running a server, I would only get disk 1 from a mirror
since this disk pretty much has everything you need. Disk 2 contains kde / gnome stuff (I think that's it!) that in my opinion shouldn't be on a server.
Slackware in general is a fairly optimized distro, especially if you're going for a minimalist install as pointed out above.
Good luck :)