It's my birthday!

Now, I know what you guys are saying/asking: I already know, I have it marked on my calander; Is a 100 dollars/euros enough? (no it isn't); Is a 1,000 dollars/euros and my first born enough? (heading in the right direction); Who are you? (your funny if you said that); Happy birthday (followed by gifts), and etc.

As we all know, tomorrow is my very speciall unbirthday, which should be now duely noted amongst you all. We'll get to that everyday after today.

But let's focus on today. I want money, your girlfriend (only if she is hot), a rocket ship destined for the moon, and a pony for which I'll name George. Not all at once now! Take your time LQ, you don't have be in such a damn rush!

But, I don't like to be greedy like everyone else I know on their birthdays. (I'm looking at my cousin, Tiny Timothy. He doesn't deserve those resperators he got from the make a wish foundation!) So I'm gonna do a little reverse gift giving:

If you come to my party (with food, utility money, I should say), I'll give you: $0.00.*
That's right, look at all those zeros! My last paycheck didn't even have that many! (It was something like $234.45 after tax) You might just say today is your lucky day. Generous ol' me. How do I do it without losing it sometimes? There should be a movie about me, Passion of the RHLinuxGUY.

* But you gotta stay outside away from the eyes of my lady friends. I don't feel that we should discuss why, you guys understand... don't you? I thought so.

Well - Happy Birthday to you!
...and many happy unbirthdays until the next one.

Thanks for the invitation but I couldn't have made it even if it was not on such short notice.
Have a nice party!

lol

H*A*P*P*Y*B*I*R*T*H*D*A*Y*!

Happy birthday!

----------Is the beer free of charge?

Hehe Don't worry, there's bear, but I don't have it at my house. I have it stored at the Vons Grocery store.

You can get bears at the supermarket in the US? What a country!

Grizzly or Teddy?

Only wimps drink teddy bears, real men drink bears that come in 2 metre tall glasses and attack you. Not that a bear would be wearing glasses in any case - I mean, imagine taking a bear to the optometrist. I wouldn't, mainly because the optometrist would drink it when I'm not looking.

This one's been to the optometrist already:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spectacled_bear

Thats EXACTLY what I was thinking.

Happy birthday. The money is in the mail. Really!