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Old 12-28-2010, 10:59 AM   #1
Alexvader
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Chuck Norris uses linux :)


Hi...

Chuck Norris is planning to release his own Distro...

http://dearandroidlinux.wordpress.co...-chuck-norris/


Quote:
Why Linux doesn’t have any viruses? Because Chuck Norris uses it!

A Linux designed by Chuck Norris would require no backups, as it would be too scared of Chuck to fail.

CPUs run faster to get away from Chuck Norris

If Chuck Norris wrote Linux, the kernel would always panic. (kernel panic is the “black screen of death” for Unix OS’s)

The most guaranteed way to make the Linux kernel panic, is to tell it Chuck Norris is mad at it.

If Chuck Norris wrote Linux it would be called Chux and you would literally need to boot it.

Actually…. if Chuck Norris wrote Linux, you couldn’t boot it, it would boot you.

Chux doesn’t have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.

Chuck Norris needs neither “Help” nor “Support”, those are for his enemies!

Chux need no antivirus… viruses need anti-Chux.

Chuck Norris plays 3D games in his head by interpreting the source code in real-time. LULLZZZ

Chux does not connect to servers. Servers beg permission to connect to Chux.

Chuck Norris binary: all 1’s (no 001101111100011 just 1)

Web pages on a Chux server are handled perfectly by IE6. No one dares question why.

With Chux, “sudo” is assumed. (sudo: Run selected commands/programs as root/administrator)

Chux cronjobs run whenever they decide to run! (Cron is a time-based job/process scheduler in Unix-like computer operating systems)

Regardless of size, ALL computers running Chux are Supercomputers

Chuck Norris put the “ch” in “chmod” to remind us that he owns everything. (chmod changes the permissions of each given file for write, read, execute in Unix-like computer operating systems)

When Chuck Norris types ’sudo’ he automatically becomes superuser for every Linux server in existence.

#! is the last thing you remember hearing after booting up Chux, because of the Round House Kick start bootloader.

Chux can divide by zero.

Chux needs no browser because it holds the entire contents of the Internet in memory at all times.

There is no server version of Chux. Chuck serves no one.

If Chuck wrote Linux, developers would not be able to write bugs, bugs would be too scared to exist on chux.


i

Last edited by Alexvader; 12-28-2010 at 11:01 AM.
 
Old 12-28-2010, 12:52 PM   #2
honeybadger
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I would like to use chucks linux too
 
Old 12-28-2010, 01:05 PM   #3
jschiwal
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If that were true, how do you explain the Chuck Norris botnet?
http://linux.slashdot.org/story/10/0...Routers-Modems
 
Old 12-28-2010, 02:20 PM   #4
Alexvader
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Probably Chuck Norris himseld never heard of it... 'cause when he does... the botnet's creator better run...
 
Old 12-28-2010, 02:52 PM   #5
MrCode
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Oh, running's no use...ol' Chuck will catch up to them in no time (literally).
 
Old 12-28-2010, 10:17 PM   #6
dv502
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Why not make a Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan or Steven Seagal distro.

HAW HAW HAW
 
Old 12-28-2010, 10:18 PM   #7
Jeebizz
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I could see the first two, but Steven Seagal? That guy is such a hack.
 
Old 12-28-2010, 11:16 PM   #8
lupusarcanus
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In Obamanix, when you try to use the 'mv' command, it automatically redistributes the file to all directories.
 
Old 12-29-2010, 05:08 AM   #9
linuxlover.chaitanya
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I did not even know who Chuck Norris was until I read the wiki after looking over this thread. Is he a super human? In India, we have similar goof facts about Rajnikanth.

Last edited by linuxlover.chaitanya; 12-29-2010 at 05:10 AM.
 
Old 12-29-2010, 08:45 AM   #10
dv502
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@ Alexvader

I don't know If Chuck Norris uses linux or not, but I do know that Wil Wheaton ( i.e Star Trek: Next Generation) uses linux.

Last edited by dv502; 12-29-2010 at 08:57 AM.
 
Old 12-29-2010, 10:56 AM   #11
Alexvader
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dv502 View Post
@ Alexvader

I don't know If Chuck Norris uses linux or not, but I do know that Wil Wheaton ( i.e Star Trek: Next Generation) uses linux.

Hi...

Nice to know... I bet it's Slackware or Arch...
 
Old 12-29-2010, 11:59 AM   #12
HasC
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soooo geek
 
Old 12-29-2010, 12:52 PM   #13
lumak
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When Chuck Norris plays video games, he only needs one life.
 
Old 12-29-2010, 01:43 PM   #14
lupusarcanus
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Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land.
 
Old 12-29-2010, 06:05 PM   #15
silvyus_06
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Quote:
Originally Posted by leopard View Post
Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land.
lol .

if chuck norris used linux , windows would be to scared to put in it's how to's [how to remove linux]

Last edited by silvyus_06; 12-29-2010 at 06:09 PM.
 
  


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