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Old 12-29-2010, 06:54 PM   #16
sycamorex
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Chuck Norris managed to count to infinity... twice.
 
Old 12-29-2010, 11:55 PM   #17
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Rajnikanth bought an acre of land with wells on four corners................. To play carrom
 
Old 12-30-2010, 12:25 AM   #18
dv502
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lumak View Post
When Chuck Norris plays video games, he only needs one life.
I'll give him a bonus life, just in case his eyes and hands has slow down with age.

Of course, if we're referring to Chuck at his prime. one life is more than plenty.

Last edited by dv502; 12-30-2010 at 12:34 AM.
 
Old 12-31-2010, 08:18 AM   #19
AnanthaP
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Actually, Chuck Norris is an astute business man who has promoted and runs K1 or some such karate competition. He has parlayed his skills into a nice business and is probably a tycoon. I read somewhere that he also actively supports political party X in the US. Based on the types of films he acts in (Lone wolf McQuade, ranger etc)you can guess which party.
 
Old 01-03-2011, 10:18 PM   #20
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When Chuck Norris does push-ups he doesn't raise himself up, He pushes the Earth down.
 
Old 11-15-2013, 02:35 AM   #21
cthulhufhtagn
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Cool

In fact, Chuck Norris went back in time and boinked Anne Torvalds, only Chuck Norris could produce offspring awesome enough to create Linux
 
Old 11-15-2013, 06:34 AM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dv502 View Post
Why not make a Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan or Steven Seagal distro.

HAW HAW HAW
Joke's on you! :P
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/C...S._accountant)
 
Old 11-15-2013, 07:26 AM   #23
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Chuck Norris does not support political parties. They get down on the ground and do fifty headstand pushups. Chuck does one hundred, with one hand.
 
Old 11-15-2013, 10:57 AM   #24
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Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.
In 1991, Chuck Norris shot a 14 on an 18 hole golf course, falling short of his personal best by 2 strokes.
Champions are the breakfast of Chuck Norris.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you.
If you canít see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
 
Old 11-16-2013, 11:43 PM   #25
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Chuck Norris is in the kernel because he scares viruses and malware away. Which is why they're rare in linux.

Instead they flee to windows because they have a nerd Bill Gates who can't do cool things like Chuck Norris.

Last edited by SDF; 11-16-2013 at 11:45 PM.
 
Old 11-18-2013, 08:58 AM   #26
sundialsvcs
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Chuck Norris' Linux does not need no stinkin' kernel. The silicon just does what Chuck Norris says, without any software at all, because it is afraid of Chuck Norris!

All the ones become zeros in Chuck Norris' computers, because, beside Chuck Norris, one is nothing.
 
Old 11-18-2013, 09:22 AM   #27
jamison20000e
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@Arcane: the Uncyclopedia, nice like the Onion for and by us...

Last edited by jamison20000e; 08-18-2014 at 12:52 PM.
 
  


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