First the easy part: If you can't find ncurses-devel on your installation medium, try to add online repositories to the installation sources. You can use either YaST->Software->Installation Source or the command 'installation_sources -a <URL>' from command line (root). For URL's, have a look at the sticky threads.
Now the more tricky one: I think it's a good idea to use the old configuration as a template. However, the SUSE kernel is patched, so it does contain additional features (causing the warning-message). I wouldn't be too worried about this. I have no idea how to force 'make xconfig' to use the real (non-SUSE) default settings. I actually thought it would do it automatically. But as I said before: It's just a warning, not an error!
It's surely safer to wait for a YOU update, since this will contain all the SUSE patches, but it's half the fun!
BTW: You can skip 'make dep' and combine 'make bzImage' and 'make modules' by typing just 'make'.