^^ Exactly why I want to run a mail server: for the learning experience. You could put a book in front of me and tell me to read it, and I wouldn't pick up most of it, but rather I learn (mostly) from experience.
Anyway, it turns out that it was not in fact listening on _any_ port. I used netstat (learning real troubleshooting! yay!) and put in "DAEMON_OPTIONS(`Port=smtp,Addr=[LAN IP], Name=MTA')" into the .mc file. now netstat -a gives
Code:
tcp 0 0 bilbo.plrr.net:smtp *:* LISTEN
I'm still looking at a closed port 25 somewhere though. Hrm.
EDIT: nmap shows that port 25 is open on the local machine.