Hi, I am a very organized person, and i'd like to tell where all the source files from a tar package go to when i make and make install

how would i go about doing that?

Make a test install in a temporary folder and see what it installs. Most packages support ./configure --prefix=/some/place so
mkdir /home/minm/tmp
./configure --prefix=/home/minm/tmp
make
make install
Then look in tmp and see what was installed. The default is for most packages to install in /usr/local so the same directory structure that was installed in tmp will be installed in /usr/local, or wherever you choose to install. You can get better control over where things are installed with other configure options. See ./configure --help for more details

they are automatically softed.. the part of the source that may be needed by other programs go in /usr/include (or similar)

the actual program is installed to the secified prefix as explained above

I heard there are programs that allow you to trace and uninstall what programs you install etc

what programs are those?

checkinstall for instance