Ok, I am trying to set up a VNC connection to my server so I can use a GUI for those times when I might need one. I am also trying to get this VNC connection to travel over SSH as well so it's secure.

So far:
-I have installed tightvnc on my server
-I have SSH installed on my server on a non-standard port and have been using and loving SSH for a while now to do administrative tasks while I'm away.
-I have been trying to follow various tutorials on this and not having much luck.
-I have Remmina installed on my laptop and am using it as my VNC client...I have plugged in all the various settings that I think should work. All it does is stay on "Connecting to <my server name>".
At least for the time being I've been doing everything remote as we have been at my in-laws house. Feel like I am missing something, not sure if it's on the server side or a misconfigure with this Remmina client. The GUI I am using on the server is LXDE. Appreciate any help.

describe how you set up SSH to forward VNC to the server. your use of non-standard ports is a good idea, so let's make up some port numbers for talking about. the server has SSH listen on port 222 (not really, just made up). VNC is listening on port 333. so when you run ssh to work in text command line you do ssh -p 222 ... describe how you set up SSH to forward VNC with this. you can use these numbers so you don't reveal your own.

it sounds like an SSH connection mistake. but whether it is the connection to SSH or the connection to VNC is unknown at this point.

i assume you have VNC listening on localhost so the world can't connect to it. can you temporary have it listen on your public IP address so you can test VNC without SSH (don't login unless it is a test user that will go away when you are done)?

Is ssh forwarding enabled and are you forwarding the correct port? A command line example is:
ssh -L 5901:localhost:5901 REMOTE_IP

The address you would use for the host in Remmina is:

localhost:5901

I assumed that vnc was working correctly when you were home and the laptop was on your LAN?

I have played with it some more throughout the day. I am home now and testing it locally for the first time. It's semi-working at this point but still have some issues.

To answer some questions:
Here's the command I used to tunnel the traffic over SSH:

ssh -L vnc_port:localhost:vnc_port <server IP> -p server_ssh_port

I have port forwarding set up on my router to my ssh port so I can remote to it from outside.

Thanks michaelk...your suggestion for the Remmina setting was something I must've been missing. It actually progressed a little further and appeared to connect to the server. Only thing now is I am getting a full black screen which may be a result of my testing with things earlier. Regardless, it's late and I'm off to bed...I'll be home a little more the next few days so I can check it locally.

Appreciate the help so far.

What distribution are you running on the server? For debian 10 I followed this guide.
https://tecadmin.net/how-to-install-...-on-debian-10/

debian does not have a /etc/vnc/xstartup but the rest of the script seemed to work.

Thanks michaelk, I am using Debian 10.

Well it is officially working, so I appreciate everyone's help. I've been at home more the past few days so was able to test it locally. Once I felt comfortable with it, I turned on my wireless hotspot on my cell and treated that as my external connection and was able to remote in via SSH/VNC that way as well. In the end, I think it was more of a setting with Remmina than it was with the server. Thanks again!