well a domain name, and IP traffic are at totally different layers, so there's little way to relate the two areas. There are a number of ways to get something functional from your situation, but not what you actually descibe AFAIK. Not least because this traffic most liley won't contain a reference to the domain anyway. HTTP traffic will, but that's only implicit in the data structures of HTTP. Most traffic is resolved purely by IP once DNS resolves the domain.
the Apache part is dead easy. use mod_proxy on one server (nominate a primary server, or start a low power dedicated proxy installation) to redirect http traffic to the internal sites. you don't even need apache to do a basic version of this...
http://mail.python.org/pipermail/pyt...ne/168957.html this appears to do the trick, and can easily be slotted onto an existing firewall box, based on ipcop (i use this) or SmoothWall etc...
Realserver and Mail... if these are single instances, just use a firewall box (ipcop / SW) to forward those ports to the right machine. again, not what you want.. but effectively the same.
Lotus though... i know nothing abuot Lotus notes servers, but to get past it, i'd only be able to suggest using different external port numbers (again - ipcop / SW). This does of course leave the issue of migrate all Notes users of one of the domains to the new port number. Alternatively if you know where this traffic is coming from per domain (maybe it's two different companies using static external IP's??) then you can set up routing on a single port per client IP. Also, having just made this up - don't count on it, maybe there are third parties who can host your domain and proxy the requests back to you via alternative port numbers?