well there are plenty of basic guides of pound and nginx out there, just have a look for them and come back with any specific questions. Personally, from it's prevalence out on the net, I'd suggest using nginx http://library.linode.com/web-server...guration/basic
as for your site, it really depends exactly what architecture you're using, how you want to run it, but a fairly simple / robust solution is to develop the site on a third test system and store the content in svn / git. then you can just check it out on each server to make the site be an exact version pretty trivially.
A simpler angle is merely to maintain a primary and secondary convention on the two servers, and just rsync the content between the two boxes.
Either way, only make changes in one place.