12 Step Microsoft Addiction Recovery

studpenguin · 12-07-2003, 04:04 PM

What does a dual operating system of Linux and Microsoft do to each other when installed? Make love to each other?

Quote:

Originally posted by rberry88
You see, at first the Tux Penguin from Mandrake would try being nice to the Win XP mascot because it understands that it is slow and hampered by a multitude of problems that its owner just refuses to accept and acknowledge. While Tux is being nice the XP mascot, in return, is thowing a fit and going on and on about how Tux is always running, never needing to be rebooted and the only BSOD (blue screen of death) that it knows about is the one listed as a screensaver. So while the XP mascot is on this inexplicable outrage, Tux notices the XP mascots owner approaching and watches as the XP mascot gets fed a new dosage he likes to call a "windows update". Upon seeing this Tux realizes why the XP mascot was throwing the tantrum earlier and tries to console it like one would do in the real world with a Special Olympics participant that didn't understand why they were there in the first place.

rberry88

**this is not meant to offend anyone, anywhere and in anyway what-so-ever, but for comedic reasons only.

LOL HEAAHEAH HEAAH

12 STEPS OF MICROSOFT ADDICTS ANONYMOUS

1. Came to believe we were powerless over our Microsoft addiction. We admitted that we were powerless over the effects of Microsoft addiction, and that our PC's had become umanagable.

2. Came to believe that a powerful operating system greater than Windows could restore ourselves and our PC's and every goal we ever saw wasted by Microsoft to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn the will of our PC's to the best version of Linux as we understood it.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of our PC.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, to our PC, and some brilliant Linux geek the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have the best version of Linux as we understood it replace all the defects of our PC that Windows had caused.

7. Humbly asked for the best Linux program we could find to remove Microsofts shortcomings from our PC.

8. Made a list of all the peoples and PCs we harmed by using Windows, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such PC's except when to do so would injure it or others.

10. Continued to take inventory of our PC goals, and when we were ever tempted to use a Microsoft program -- we promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through investigating Linux to improve our conscience contact with our best Linux operating system as we understood it, seeking out wisdom of its goodwill for PC's everywhere and its power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and practice these principles in all our PC's affairs.

Mara · 12-07-2003, 04:43 PM

Moved to General. Fits here better.

studpenguin · 12-07-2003, 09:21 PM

Just please don't get me in trouble for double posting it in both the Newbies forum and the General forum.

Greyweather · 12-08-2003, 12:33 AM

My 12 steps were a little different.

12. Realize that Internet Explorer is the worst piece of software on my computer, replace with Mozilla Firebird.

11. After constantly being annoyed by Microsoft Messenger, disable it and replace with Gaim.

10. Remember how Outlook wiped out my last Windows install by letting in a virus before I even opened the email, replace with Sylpheed.

9. Decide that WinRar/WinZip isn't worth 30 bucks to get rid of the nag screen, replace with 7-zip.

8. Realize Notepad is about as powerful as a down pillow and replace with Vim/XEmacs/SciTE/etc.

7. Realize that with Ghostscript around I don't need the word 'Adobe' to be anywhere on my computer.

6. Realize Windows Media Player is way too bloated and lacking in features to be a good audio player, replace with Zinf/SnackAmp/etc.

5. Realize I don't use half the stuff Photoshop/Paint Shop Pro comes with anyways and download the GIMP.

4. Get sick of always having to install new codecs and replacing broken ones to play video files with Windows Media Player, replace with VideoLAN Client.

3. Notice that MS Works is a hunk of junk, look at MS Office, faint from sticker-shock. Regain consciousness and download OpenOffice.

2. Look at the cd-burning program bundled with XP and long for something more flexable and powerful that won't cost $70, like Linux has.

1. Notice that my favorite games all have Linux clients, and wonder what the heck I got for the 100-300 bucks Windows cost me. *Looks at the Winmodem I haven't used on two years* Download Knoppix, spend ~1 hour on HD install and get everything I spent 2 days setting up on Windows given right to me out of the box as well as a few hundred other things.

studpenguin · 01-04-2004, 12:10 AM

Step 1

Realize that Windows Product Activation is a rip off, but since I've been raised on it.

Even though I only had it installed on the original 366mhz Celeron slow piece of crap machine for only 2 months and have absolutely NO intention of keeping WINDOWS on that machine any longer.

Now that I got something new and modern entirely designed for my use, the bastards STILL want to charge $184 for another liscense, rather than understand that it's still a 1 computer, 1 user OS.

I think it's about time to install Mandrake 9.2 in no later than 28 days from now.