another update, it seems wordpress cron was a false lead....
I have tried many other optimisations, and i have no idea which it was... but the server has been running very efficiently today.
Heres some other things i tried, one of which (maybe a combination of all?) seems to have fixed my problems
I was having mysqld cpu issues and have a mybb forum installed, so I converted the mybb_sessions table to INNODB using the following command:
ALTER TABLE mybb_sessions ENGINE = INNODB;
I also applied the mysql leap second bug fix:
https://stackoverflow.com/questions/...93475#11293475
/etc/init.d/ntpd stop
date -s "`date`"
/etc/init.d/ntpd start
so far so good.
my server load has dropped from regularly hitting 15-20+ down to currently 0-2!