After installing the new Xorg update and restarting, I noticed problems almost immediately after Compiz started; glitches after a short while led me to restart almost immediately.
Thinking that it was just a temporary problem, I restarted a few more times to get the exact same results.
After some research on the issue, I discovered my problem and attempted to boot again, when I was met with a filesystem error. I ran "fsck" and pressed "y" a bunch of times, fixing some things, and restarted.
As soon as I was able to, I switched my drivers to "vesa" from "nvidia" in my xorg.conf file and reinstalled my drivers through a failsafe startup of KDE (I'm using Envy and figured this would be the easiest way). I then changed xorg.conf to look at my nVidia drivers on the next boot.

Well after ALL of that, I expected things to be back to normal...but they're far from it.
Whenever I try to boot now, the loading bar gets about 1/10th the way and just freezes. I can't ctrl+alt+F1 or do anything at all.
When I try to start up in recovery mode, nearly the same thing happens; it freezes at a certain point in the booting process.

What should I do?!

Consider informing us of exactly what that "certain point" might be. That knowledge might be helpful, although I suspect that the new xorg libraries may have overwritten the nVidia-specific libraries.

In any case, thanks for the "heads up." I think I'll skip that update for a while.