I want to know how to keep slackware up to date. I tried Swaret....... And I have had to re-install slackware 5 times. Everytime I use Swaret to update, Slackware goes to s**t! I thought about trying slapt-get, but I thought I'd ask a few questions before I reinstall for a 6th time. Does slapt-get work the same as swaret? Is slapt-get better?

A better question to ask would probably be: How do YOU keep slackware up to date? Please explain to me like I'm 12 years old and give me a step by step on how to do it if possible. I'm new to linux.

Compile custom kernel.
Configure system to my desires.
Don't get caught chasing the "latest and greatest." Curiosity killed the cat.
If it ain't broken, don't fix it. It it is broken, fix it rather than replace it.
Read the changelogs before getting "the new stuff."
Only get "the new stuff" when it will improve my ability to produce with Linux,
or when the old app doesn't work with my hardware.
Use CheckInstall, so that if it doesn't work, it's only a "removepkg <packagename>"
to get it out of there.
Trust only Pat Volkerding's Slack packs, none other, and compile from source if
Pat hasn't released a package. Never trust LinuxPackages.net anymore...ymmv

The last box built I did it this way. Keep in mind that I did do a lot of experimenting on a previous computer.
Installed Slack 10.0 the day after it came out.
Compiled custom kernel, I built this computer from scratch, so I know every bit of hardware in it, down to the serial number.
Checked changelog every day or so.
Waited one or two days, then downloaded and installed security patches and new versions of often used programs. I ftp these programs from a Slackware mirror, and check the checksums. Then I use the packages that came with Slackware to install, ie. "installpkg, removepkg and upgradepkg." The reason I wait is in case the package is missing something. You would be surprised how often this happens.
Also, if I'm trying to keep up a current box, the packages have to be installed in order. If I try to install a package that was compiled after say, glibc was upgraded, and I don't have the upgraded glibc, I'm asking for trouble. Same with GTK and Gnome, QT and KDE, etc, etc.
Most important, I read, know what I'm upgrading and why. I go one step at a time, test, and then I know what to roll back if I have a problem.
Hope this helps.

hmm...... sounds complicated. Maybe Debian is the way for me. I just want a secure linux box. No virii, open ports, security holes, etc. Is there an easy way to do this?

No - only a thorough way - there are no shortcuts.

Well, my way may take a little more effort, but I find it more satisfying then reinstalling 5 or 6 times.