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The "low-tech" way is to create one user account to run only KDE, and another to run only xfce. Set permissions so that one user can read/write to the other's account.
Another way (from within KDE) is to put the trash onto your kicker panel (it's in the list of applets you can add) and delete the trash icon from your desktop.
(Probably not what you were hoping to hear. One has the same problem with GNOME.)
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