Not sure how I did it but here it goes...
reloaded mandrake 10.1 this time making the install locate the pcmcia and it did without a problem. Lights lit up but I had left the cat5 unplugged... mistake.
Moved the laptop near the cat5 and had to reboot the machine. It didnt boot the card the next time. So I was back where I started.
I read around LQ I got bits and pieces of what needed and went at it.
cd /etc
removed the alias pcnet_cs eth0 line from the modprobe.conf file
then I added pcnet_cs to the module file and rebooted. The card was detecting. ifconfig shows card properly and then I was done. (for those who are new, ifconfig will give you a command not found error unless you are in /etc which is something I was unaware of.
I got this thing going and I am scared to reboot. But it is almost 2 am here and I am almost sure I can get this thing up again if need be. This was definately a test... tomorrow, gmail and WM setup again. WOOT