If you go with the b43m use
1. The most recent kernel - 2.6.26.20 or the like.
2. a line like this in /etc/modprobe.d/somefile
install b43 /sbin/modprobe ssb; /sbin/modprobe b43; /sbin/modprobe btusb
modprobe b43 should then load the lot. From your output, the modules are loading. This is my output from iwconfig
wlan0 IEEE 802.11bg ESSID:"dlink-dec"
Mode:Managed Frequency:2.437 GHz Access Point: 00:22:B0:90:0B:4B
Bit Rate=54 Mb/s Tx-Power=27 dBm
Retry min limit:7 RTS thr
ff Fragment thr=2352 B
Power Management
ff
Link Quality=88/100 Signal level:-41 dBm Noise level=-71 dBm
Rx invalid nwid:0 Rx invalid crypt:0 Rx invalid frag:0
Tx excessive retries:0 Invalid misc:0 Missed beacon:0
There is also iwlist. Try iwlist scan to see what's about, iwconfig to set the options. Then use iwconfig wlan0 ap <your access point>. The big thing is the access point. If you're not associating, you have not set up correctly. If you have no wlan0, it's your kernel and the modules. If these are right and things still don;t work, it's probably turned off. There's about 4 ways to do that, but it's difficult to turn on.