LOL! Well perhaps Linux From Scratch would be something that would suit you well?
Anyway, you should have no problems building xchat from source if you have gtk+ 2.0 or 2.2 and the corresponding development libraries installed.
If you're running MDK 9.1 it looks like it should be these:
...and also glib:
Doesn't Mandrake come with a package manager where you can just chose what package to install and dependency packages are installed automatically? That should help.