David, I really really really appreciate you sticking through this with me!
I have some sad news though...
I'm giving up. I cannot grasp this thing at all! The error message, when they appear are cryptic to me, the whole LifeWithQmail is just a bit (read miles) over my head. Qmail seems like an excellent program for those who are mail server admins, or large business admins. But for me as a home user, Postfix is really going to be what I choose.
I removed qmail, and withing 30 minutes had postfix up and running, recieving mail for all my users, including root, without a hitch, not even a slight hiccup (not yet anyway
Some things just aren't meant to be
Now I am going to figure out how this imap thing'll work with Postfix (shouldn't be a problem, I've configured Postfix to use Maildir).
Again, thanks a billion for keeping with this with me til the end.