it is as i suspected; using a dedicated media server/client has smoothed things perfectly, i can watch movies and tv shows, even listen to .flac audio without transcoding it first!
i recap:
download and install ampache, git version (see previous post) to your server
on your android device: install
DSub (supports both audio and video playback)
on your ampache install, activate the subsonic api (preferably by creating a dedicated user, plus some additional setup, see
here
however, not all is rosy.
it seems that some media codecs aren't suitable for streaming, and i cannot stream all movies to my phone, even though they play nicely when i copy them to the sd card first.
there is a "transcode on the fly" option in ampache.
it works nicely with music, but not with video; i am still researching this, i think it's fixable.
maybe i'll need a stronger server...