It sounds like your goals are much the same as min. I think your post is somewhat confusing as well as the reply here. You speak of remote control such as VNC and SSH, then IR remote control.
I think you want to do as I and use the CPU of your desktop and simply remote control it with a NetBook. This is exactly what I have experimented with . In fact I have Ubuntu 6.06 PPC on an old iMAc and have used it to remote control my Windows Machine. I will say that since the first time I used VNC on Linux I noticed it was much faster, as I used to have a Windows server that I accessed from the web. FOr me this was a huge selling point for Linux. I do not believe that the performance of the Netbook in any way affects the performance of your desktop. Where I am , at my home I have a 640/320 kps connection, and I have tested with good results so far. A few things you will not be able do do are applications such as streaming sound and video , as they have never worked for me, but I have not looked into supporting them. I can leave my desktop machine crunching away, and just log in and check it via remote control. It is a very good way to work.
As for the Infra Red , it sounds like you want to use the NetBook as an IR Receiver to control devices when you are at home? I am also interested in this so let me know how it works if you try it.
ALthough I have used a variety of Platforms my clear choice for a Netbook would be linux. I understand Microshaft built in a bunch of limitations into the XP versions on Netbooks, and supporting some devices such as DVDs is impossible. As stated earlier, the VNC client works better on Linux than on windows anyway.
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