Step by step insstructions.
Hope you enjoy them!
Step 1. Take screwdriver, preferably Phillips head as its the normal computerr screw, and remove case of computer.
Step 2. Take said screwdriver, and remove mounting screw from modem card.
Step 3. Remove modem card, and place upon safe, non-static surface.
Step 4. Take modem and safe, non-static surface, and proceed to nearest superhighway.
Step 5. Carefully, very carefully, lay modem in middle of superhighway when no cars are present.
Step 6. Wait for 18 wheeler, and feel satisfaction at results of tires meeting modem on highway.
Step 7. Proceed to electronics store, and buy an external, non-usb modem, which should work perfectly and prevent all future headaches. :-D