To sum up I want init level 3, X server, but no desktop, eventually I will add the "startx" to a boot time script that starts X with level 3, but again I do not want the desktop to load, how can I accomplish this?
To start in runlevel 3 edit /etc/inittab, the first uncommented line should look like this. Yours probably has a 4 in it now:
# Default runlevel. (Do not set to 0 or 6)
To start X with no WD/Desktop, find your xinitrc file- usually /etc/X11/xinit/xinitrc- the last line starts your WM/Desktop. Comment it out and call the program you want to run instaed.
Check for a hidden file in your home directory called .xinitrc (do ls -a) if it's there, it will override /etc/X11/xinit/xinitrc so make your changes there.