OK, let's have a "Quotes" thread!

Victor Borge once said, “Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.”

"I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades." - Demetri Martin

I hate when old people poke you at a wedding and say "you're next". So next time I was at a funeral I poked them and said "you're next".
- Anonymous

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did–in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.
BOB MONKHOUSE

“The best jokes are dangerous, and dangerous because they are in some way truthful.” Kurt Vonnegut

Ultimately with God's aid, Truth always emerges and finally prevails supreme in its power over the destiny of mankind, and terrible is the retribution for those who deny, defy, or betray it.– Virgil Jordan

The best way to predict your future is to create it. ― Abraham Lincoln

Some bible shiznit for ye all...
Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material. Leviticus 19:19
Ye shall not round the corners of your heads. Leviticus 19:27
All that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you. Leviticus 9:10
Thou shalt not boil a kid in its mother’s milk. Exodus 23:19
When a woman has a discharge, if her discharge in her body is blood, she shall continue in her menstrual impurity for seven days; and whoever touches her shall be unclean until evening. Everything also on which she lies during her menstrual impurity shall be unclean, and everything on which she sits shall be unclean. Leviticus 15: 19-20
When men fight with one another, and the wife of the one draws near to rescue her husband from the hand of him who is beating him, and puts out her hand and seizes him by the private parts, then you shall cut off her hand. Deuteronomy 25:11-12
Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. “Get out of here, baldy!” they said. “Get out of here, baldy!” He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys. 2 Kings 2:23-25 NIV
Early in the morning, as Jesus was on his way back to the city, he was hungry. Seeing a fig tree by the road, he went up to it but found nothing on it except leaves. Then he said to it, “May you never bear fruit again!” Immediately the tree withered. Matthew 21:18-22 NIV
Now therefore, kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman who has known man intimately. But all the girls who have not known man intimately, spare for yourselves. Numbers 31:17-18
He [Josiah] executed the priests of the pagan shrines on their own altars, and he burned human bones on the altars to desecrate them…. He did this in obedience to all the laws written in the scroll that Hilkiah the priest had found in the LORD’s Temple. Never before had there been a king like Josiah, who turned to the LORD with all his heart and soul and strength, obeying all the laws of Moses. And there has never been a king like him since. 2 Kings 23:20-25 NLT
You may purchase male or female slaves from among the foreigners who live among you. You may also purchase the children of such resident foreigners, including those who have been born in your land. You may treat them as your property, passing them on to your children as a permanent inheritance. You may treat your slaves like this, but the people of Israel, your relatives, must never be treated this way. Leviticus 25:44-46 NLT
Slaves, obey your earthly masters with deep respect and fear. Serve them sincerely as you would serve Christ. Ephesians 6:5 NLT
and that's just some of the first link: http://www.linuxquestions.org/questi...ml#post5601525

""''

The revolution in the United States was the result of a mature, reflective preference for liberty and not a vague, indefinite instinct for independence. It did not depend on the passions of disorder. On the contrary, it demonstrated love of order and legality as it went forward.– Alexis de Tocqueville

Alan Clark: "Once again, secular society leads the way and leaves the churches floundering. In my 60 years, I've watched organised religion scream in protest against almost every measure that has made our world more humane, compassionate and civilised..."

"OK, let's have a "Quotes" thread!" -- alan_ri


(anyone do that one yet?)

^_^

“When your computer dies during PowerPoint, your career dies in the real world” (Wally)

This was different after the “Matrix”, but I deem it even better, now.

Bertrand Russell: "Religion is based primarily upon fear. It is partly the terror of the unknown and partly as the wish to feel that you have a kind of elder brother who will stand by you in all your troubles and disputes. Fear of the mysterious, fear of defeat, fear of death. Fear is the parent of cruelty, and therefore it is no wonder if cruelty and religion have gone hand in hand. It is because fear is at the basis of those two things. In this world we can now begin a little to understand things, and a little to master them by help of science, which has forced its way step by step against the opposition of all the old precepts. Science can help us to get over this craven fear in which mankind has lived for so many generations. Science can teach us, and I think our own hearts can teach us, no longer to look around for imaginary supports, no longer to invent allies in the sky, but rather to look to our own efforts here below to make this world a fit place to live in, instead of the place that the churches in all these centuries have made it."

“Here's my advice for advocates of ID (I know it won't be taken, but just for the record): Accept that evolution is consistent with the evidence, proclaim it further proof of God's ingenuity and wisdom, declare victory, and depart the field. And to paraphrase the court's Dover decision, stop trying to tell children what to think — let them learn how to think instead” (Mister Paul Lutus)

ID here: “Intelligent design” an alternate panic room.

Golda Meir: "One cannot and must not try to erase the past merely because it does not fit the present."

Former Arkansas Sen. William Fulbright said in 1967, “The price of empire is America’s soul, and that price is too high.”

Religion is the opiate of the masses. ~ Karl Marx

"The master in the art of living makes little distinction between... work and play" - L. P. Jacks