Updates & stuff. (WRT life)

Well, lots of curveballs have been coming down the pike lately and its made me (whom already is indecisive) a bit leery of what to do with my life. My Dad (for the time being) has decided to take a job in California and will be leaving March 15th (if all goes as planned). Now, the good side to this is that he says he can make 3 or 4 times more money than he makes here in Oklahoma. I also don't like Oklahoma, so it would be nice to finally leave this forsaken place. We'd also be moving to a big(ish) city which I like. It's going to be somewhere in Orange County, which is *very* close to where I was born.The bad side? Well first of all I don't want to move 1000+ miles away AGAIN. I absolutely hate moving. All the packing and driving and stuff... I'm the kind of person who likes to settle down in one place and stay there. And then all my faintest ideas of getting a GED, getting a drivers' permit and any other things I was planning to do is put on hold again. I'll be clueless, once again, when I arrive there. Then I'll be moving close to ALL my family which isn't something I'm all too fond of. And of course, Orange County is where all my family is, and has been, for a while (i.e. my 'roots'). Then of course you factor in the actual job my Dad will be getting and all of California's problems and it just makes me very sad.

This of course freezes my job 'search' which wasn't going all too well anyway. I think Wal-Mart either rejected my application (which they are supposed to notify me of, and haven't), or it got lost/forgotten. Either way, it looks like I won't be working there anytime soon. (Maybe in Cali?) Since we're moving, I won't be getting a job in a few months anyway.

I've been depressed pretty bad lately too. I don't have any friends and I have NO social interaction whatsoever. I just stay at home helping around with the house. A lot of my interests have seemed to fade off into the distance. For some reason I don't get too excited or amused on the computer, news just makes me more sad, politics seem pointless, my opinions about things aren't as strong, I'm disconnected from my religion... My will to live in general is kinda low. I'm glad I'm finally not sick anymore though.

I do have one thing I am looking forward too though. My Dad is getting an overdue commission check from his brother. I'll be getting $300 to do anything with, which, considering my needs at this point in time will probably go to get me a new phone. I'm thinking about getting an Android phone, and I've got my eye on the Motorola Atrix coming out soon. At that same time, I am going to sell my computer and sports card collection to try and get a laptop that I can finally enjoy Linux on again. I'm not sure at all how much I'll get from my stuff but if I get enough have my eye on a few laptops (and maybe a SSD!). So I guess I've got one thing 'keeping me alive' so to speak. Maybe once I get that stuff I'll be able to pursue my main interests again with some excitement. Keeping my fingers crossed.

I'm still thinking about a desktop, but now that I am going to have to move (especially to a somewhat unstable position) I fell that is probably a bad idea now.

I don't know. I'm just lost mentally and emotionally right now.