This is the first "blog" of any kind I've ever had, so it's probably not the greatest...

Just a little snippet about me:

I'd like to consider myself relatively tech-savvy; obviously I use Linux (Arch to be precise; K.I.S.S. FTW), and I enjoy learning new things about computers in general (both software and hardware-related).

This blog is mostly just for whenever I feel like telling the world about my experiences with computers/Linux (or just life in general), or just posting for the hell of it.

Okay, I'm just going to be frank this time…

Posted 05-12-2011 at 05:47 PM by MrCode
Updated 05-12-2011 at 05:50 PM by MrCode

I know this isn't really the best place to be looking for emotional help, but that isn't quite my goal…I'm just trying to find a place where I can get help.

BUT, there are a few problems with the usually recommended options:

psychiatrist/psychotherapist: not an option because they'll want to drug me. See these threads to know why that's not an option for me.
Talking to family: I've given up talking to my mom about it all, because it seems to me that she just wants me to believe as she believes, which again, is not an option, and most of the rest of them don't even really know about these problems.
Medication: see the links in the "psychiatrist/psychotherapist" description above.

I know, I know…I guess I've exhausted my options, but the point is this: I don't want to be reinforced with the fact that I'm just a blob of chemistry with about as much "free will" as a wristwatch mechanism (seeing a psych professional), I don't want to submit to my mother's will or alienate the rest of my family with what, to them, will probably seem like strange/dumb things to worry about, and I don't want to take "happy pills" that for all I know will totally destroy me (some antidepressants can have the opposite effect in some people; I'd rather not chance that), and having the old "you didn't make it happen, it was destined to happen" thing reinforced.

I don't need more of this*:

Quote:

Originally Posted by cantab

The thing is you couldn't have chosen otherwise. "choice" as an action is an illusion. What you did was determined by the physical behaviour of your brain.

…or talk from the "opposite" side of the fence, saying that everything is due to "change" come the time for "ascension" of the planet, when "[our] higher selves will connect with our physical selves in a new reality", or whatever. (Though somehow I doubt I'll get much of that in this kind of a community.)

Those of you who frequent LQ /General and/or the blogs section will probably at least somewhat know what my issues are, and will hopefully be able to make some kind of a recommendation without straying off in to one of the above-outlined territories (blatant reinforcement of hard determinism or flowery hippy-happy spirituality that makes no sense in a realistic context).

Just as an example: I have some ideas/imaginative concepts that I hold close, and are always evolving/changing over time…but oh wait, that's right, those aren't mine, they're just a result of hormonal influence, upbringing, and genetic predispositions. They'll just disappear when I get older and am no longer going on a chemical roller-coaster ride. It's not like I have any real control over my life, after all; physics/chemistry/biology does the work for me. "Choice as an action is an illusion."

…

P.S.: For those of you who have read my previous posts here and have gotten tired of my rantings, feel free not to reply here. I suppose if I don't get any pointers here, then I'll take the message that "[I'm] on [my] own, kid".

(* - Yes, this is verbatim. Check [what should be] post #45 of the thread if you don't believe me. This nasty little one-liner has stuck in my head for who knows how long…but that's beside the point of this post, really. I'm asking for pointers to help, not straight-up help.)

Posted in Existential Blabber, Miscellaneous

Views 7018 Comments 7

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Comments

You think too much. Stop it. The answer to life, existence and every thing is whatever you want it to be. If nobody has proof of the answer then it might as well be 42. No answer can change the fact that you can justify to your self "I think therefor I am."

If you still want to look for "help" then do it. Find a social group in your area, become a mentor, volunteer at organizations that are out of your social norm. (E.G. PFLAG if you are straight.)

I'm done thinking out of the box. At some point you have to go out and do something to solve your "issues" of such ineffectual topics as existence.

Posted 05-14-2011 at 03:03 AM by lumak lumak is offline

Cool, I'll be Joe.

How are you doing Frank?

Posted 05-15-2011 at 01:45 AM by lupusarcanus
I'm Brian all the time...unfortunately.

Posted 05-16-2011 at 01:30 PM by brianL

Quote:

I don't need more of this*:

Quote:
Originally Posted by cantab
The thing is you couldn't have chosen otherwise. "choice" as an action is an illusion. What you did was determined by the physical behaviour of your brain.

Trying to explain what cantab must have meant there,

Firstly YOU and YOUR BRAIN are NOT two "different" things.
YOU cannot exist if your brain is removed.
In fact YOU are the brain.

If we talk in terms of Linux, I would say, "choice" as an action is an illusion, for the email clients, compiz effects, package managers etc, obviously, they are finally controlled by the kernel. You remove the kernel and it is all over.
i.e. Linux == Kernel

Similarly,
MrCode'soul == MrCode's brain
Anisha'soul == Anisha's brain

And for w.r.t the sane humans, I think, we can control our brain "if we try too hard".

You say "It's not like I have any real control over my life".
Define "I". Again I say, humans DO have the power to control their brain and thus indirectly control their life.

I have the power to tell my brain to do something which I don't want or vice versa.
e.g. I met with an accident 3 weeks back and my now my brain says that I should not drive too fast as it might this time cost me a bed-rest for more than a month. NOW, it is my choice, that I would obey my brain or go against its useful warning! Me and my brain are not two different things therefore I can control myself and thus my brain.

and now (you==your brain) "has" the choice to put or not put me in your ignore list.

Posted 06-07-2011 at 06:49 AM by Aquarius_Girl Aquarius_Girl is offline

Updated 06-07-2011 at 07:07 AM by Aquarius_Girl

Firstly, I am absolutely amazed that someone has posted another comment here (

)…secondly:

Skipping all the "you == brain" stuff (which I already know about, and don't necessarily disagree with)…

Quote:

NOW, it is my choice, that I would obey my brain or go against its useful warning! Me and my brain are not two different things therefore I can control myself and thus my brain.

The problem with this statement is that you're still bifurcating "you" and "your brain"; you're contradicting yourself here. "I would obey my brain" is effectively redundant. The source of all this "agony", if you will, comes from the logical conclusion that, since effectively, one's "self" is in fact the emergent effect of the physical activity of their brain, that therefore means that all their acts are determined solely by the laws of physics, thus eliminating any kind of "freedom" from the decision-making process (although this is a semantic game in itself: what is "freedom"?).

By the above logic, you were effectively destined to write the comment you did.

…and I was destined to respond to it in exactly this way, with exactly these words, moving my fingers in the exact ways to produce the exact keystrokes to enter each individual letter…you get the idea. Not a fun place to be when you're 19 and still just starting to make a living for yourself.

No, I won't put you on my ignore list. You might be re-iterating a point that I've already seen/heard plenty of times already, but I don't think that warrants completely shutting out everything you have to say from here on out. I didn't add cantab (though admittedly he doesn't lurk /General anymore that I've seen), or lumak, or any of the others who supported the whole determinism argument to my ignore list, so I'm not going to add you, either. I've pretty much already come to the conclusion that the "soul", if you will, doesn't actually exist, at least not in a discrete, immaterial sense.

Besides, over time, this has slowly shifted from "ZOMG HUGE LIFE ISSUE" to a mere intellectual dilemma that still causes emotional twinges here and there. IOW, I've (maybe) started gaining some perspective…I rarely check this blog anymore, at least not for comments to this particular post.

Posted 06-10-2011 at 12:49 AM by MrCode MrCode is offline

Updated 06-10-2011 at 01:03 AM by MrCode

	It is really pretty simple. Depression is Situationally dependent So, change the situation If you are living at home, Move Out If You are in school, Join the Navy Join the Peace Corp
	Posted 06-10-2011 at 10:45 AM by john test

	Quote: psychiatrist/psychotherapist: not an option because they'll want to drug me. See these threads to know why that's not an option for me. What about a psychologist, ie: non-pharmaceutical treatment?
	Posted 07-08-2011 at 12:19 PM by ntubski