"Certifications," let's face it, are big business.

Yes, on the one hand, they are "professional continuing-education." Equals: "a noble undertaking if ever there was one." However, there are also "Willy-Wonka (equals "Golden Ticket™") expectations," mostly held by those who have the most to lose by holding them. And so, it is especially to those people that I would kindly wish to borrow this "bully pulpit," in order to dispense the following advice. It's advice based on more than thirty years' experience including sitting on both sides of The Desk.

#1: "There is no 'Golden Ticket.'"
Nothing that you can buy will, or will ever, "open the Pearly Gates for you." Nothing that you can buy, earn, or win will ever (in this profession at the present day) qualify you for the job. Nor will 'the lack of anything' ever disqualify you for that same job. The business decision, "to hire any-particular human being for any-particular job," is never, ever so simple. Therefore, if you are considering paying lots-of-dollars, most especially out of your own pocket, then I sternly counsel you to consider that decision. "What, exactly, do you suppose that you are buying?"

If you suppose that "you are buying 'Magic,™'" which will 'magically' motivate "me, the Anonymous Buyer," (a.k.a. "The Hiring Manager") to buy "Whatever You Have,™" then ... well ... "please don't be [yet another ...] 'Suckered Salesman.™'" I was born, but I was not born yesterday. I have a business to run. So, while I don't mind watching stage-plays about folks such as Willy Lohman, I don't want to waste my time encountering such losers in real life.

#2: "... but continuing education is always a Good Thing."
Certification-courses are put together by professional instructional designers who work very closely with real-world practitioners to construct a course that, at least, has the potential to be "very relevant and useful." However, every educational program ultimately depends on . . . you. If you approach the course as a total "a sip from the fire-hose" which at the end will benefit you, then you will be rewarded. But if, on the other hand, you merely are looking at it as "a fast-track to A Golden Ticket™," then prepare to be disappointed.

#3: "Don't waste my time!"
Please. I have a business-requirement that I urgently need to fill, and I've finally secured approval from HR ... and funding from my boss ... to fill it. As it happens, this job doesn't require "decades of experience," so you might very-reasonably have a shot at it. However, please, don't "automatically assume" that your Precious Certification™ is your guaranteed-entry into my door. Please take the time to seriously understand my business requirement, and to seriously deduce that you are, in fact, a credible candidate to fill it. Thank you.

Mind you: "I want to Buy, and I possess the ability to Buy!" As the salesman-books say, "I have the Money, the Authority, and the Pain." The question, therefore, is this: "are you, in fact, able to sell?" Why or why not? Tell me now. I'm in a hurry.

Therefore: you need to be the salesman. (It's a very legitimate and very necessary business art.) Granted, successful completion of a certification program is a legitimate accomplishment, but if this is the only thing that you have to proffer in your self-marketing program, it basically means that "you have read a book about how to swim." Show me that you have a clear understanding of my business requirement, and that you have constructed a brief but compelling reason why you can and should be the one to fulfill it. Go directly to the point ... to my, the buyer's, point. This is the thing that's going to make me (at least) set your résumé in "pile #2."

#4: Why isn't your employer paying for this?
Most companies of any size that employ "foot soldiers" also invest money in "boot camp." They invest in their people, and a well-designed certification study program is recognized generally to be a good investment. (Many training companies offer personalized programs, targeted to the business' stated needs, which lead to a certification basically as a by-product. Therefore, if you are seriously interested in plying the certification channel, consider getting almost-any job at a company that offers such a program. The mere fact that you ask about such things, or that such things motivated you to approach this particular company, will definitely attract attention. (Everyone wants to find a candidate who expresses an interest in, and knowledge of, their company ...) Don't be the slightest bit annoyed if it is an "entry level" job, because it means that you have entered. Let the company invest its own money in your continuing education, and then be careful to provide them with a solid return on their (sizeable!) investment.

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