Microsoft's version of Linux:

"Registering your version of XPayMe Linux has never been easier. Just send $50 via Pay Pal, your root password, and location of any and all sensitive information on your harddrive to scams@microsoft.com. You'll only need to do this but once every month or every reboot, whichever comes first!"

Note: Reboot required once every 4 hours to apply our special, XPay-Me ONLy Linux patches!

Patches not guarenteed to fix problems, applying them may force you to upgrade to our latest version.

And some patches will break your system thus creating more problems and the need for more patches. It's a vicious circle.

you're a viscious circle!

That will be taken care of soon by these nice folks.
(Did I spell folks right?) :D