I'm not really geeky enough to be using linux.. so I've been having a few problems with it...

When I try to use peer-to-peer software like IRC and BitTorrent, I suffer exruciatinly slow download speeds (im lucky if I get 1 kb/s), however, my download speeds from HTTP are just as fast as ever (upwards of 800kb/s).

Originally, I couldn't even get downloads to start, period, but after I installed firestarter, I was able to get these slow speeds at the least. I've tried unblocking all the ports specific to IRC (1025-7000), yet I noticed no difference in speed. My friend who also recently made the switch to Ubuntu with me is also noticing these problems with p2p programs (specifically, BitTorrent).

Could anyone give us a hand on how to solve this? We're really at the end of our rope, and have tried everything to get this working!

-Thanks to those kind people who can help us,
-Ashley & Vangs

*bump* C'mon, no one's got the answer to this one? I find that highly doubtful ^^;;

Linux is going away from the geeky side of computing quite quickly, some of the most computer illiterate people I know use it with no major issues.

By default Ubuntu locks down all ports and services, so that your computers pretty safe from the outside world. This may be whats causing your headaches here, try running the following command to open the ports in the firewall:
sudo /sbin/iptables -I INPUT -p PROTOCOL --dport PORT -j ACCEPT

Replace PROTOCOL with either tcp/ip, and replace PORT with the port number you want to open up.

Update:
Just reread your original post, if you have already tried this then I can only offer two more ideas.

Either
a. Make sure that the ports are being forwarded through your router, and that they are being forwarded to the correct computer (see http://www.portforward.com for a lot more information.
b. Your ISP is attempting to block P2P downloading - either change the ports you are using to connect, or change your ISP.