alright, this is getting annoying. i feel like i've tried just about every option for VGA and nVidia that i could think of under framebuffer support, i've tried changing my lilo setup to default VGA and it's getting to be annoying now. (compiling into kernel, not as modules)

my setup is a 4400 amdx2, 1gb 3200 ram, asus a8n-sli dlx, audigy 2zs, 7950gt and that is all the necessary information. a couple of times i could blindly login and startx, but it seems like my last couple of attempts have frozen at boot and i can't seem to figure out why i can't see anything. please help me with the framebuffer support section and let me know what needs to be compliled in order to move this forward (kernel 2.6.20.3).

You can compile the necessary stuff into the kernel - that's not a problem.
As you are likely aware, the problem is indeed the framebuffer configuration, and is probably not being helped with an improper/unsupported video mode being set in LILO.
The times it is frozen at boot, I ask if it stays frozen for more than 30 seconds.. When an incorrect mode is received from LILO, the machine will wait up to 30 seconds for you to either press SPACE/RETURN, or enter another mode, or simply wait the 30 seconds for it to continue booting.

SO.. WHat's the problem.. Let's see, are you using the proprietary driver from www.nvidia.com? ? When using those drivers, you cannot use nvidia framebuffer OR rivafb framebuffer..
You also need to specify in LILO an appropriate mode that can be displayed by your card DURING BOOT. This is important, because at this point, there is no fancy high tech driver running the card, so modes are limited until the real driver gets loaded after boot.
Here, I will show you what I have in my kernel, as well as my lilo boot-screen information.. It should give you a good idea what works, for you to start with.
(For the record, I use a GeForce4 MX440 AGP card, and the x86-1.0-9631 driver from nvidia.com, a 2.6.20 kernel, and have an Intel P4 & Intel 845PE chipset with i810 onboard video controller which I am not using).
Xconfig Kernel Support/Options included:
And here is what I am using in LILO:
Of course, you will need to adjust the INTEL part(s) to better suit your AMD hardware. And the lilo stuff is an example. If using the LILO boot editor GUI included with some OS's you can see a list of possible supported VGA modes to use.

Where is this config file located and whats the file name?

The config file will be located inside the kernel source folder, and is called '.config'.
This is rather unimportant, because every time you run xconfig, it loads the current .config file, and when you save and exit from xconfig, it saves the updated .config file.
Not sure I recommend editing the .config file by hand.

You should also be aware that there are issues with framebuffer and the nvidia driver from nvidia.com. Officially, they dont support framebuffer consoles which usually means that after closing x or switching to a vt the console is full of garbage or coloured blocks.

I have **read** about that issue too Dive, but have yet to experience it, nor any other problems related to the driver(s). They don't explicitly support frame buffer devices at current, but it seems that with the right configuration, an actual "framebuffer" per se isn't required.

?!?

Try disabling all framebuffer drivers except vesa. That means get rid of nvidiafb and rivafb.

No you don't need framebuffer options to use nvidia. Thats what I do - turn off framebuffer options in kernel, use vga=normal in lilo.conf, and change terminal font to an 8x8 to get more text per screen.