I think which player you choose may depend on your system and your preference...
I started with Kaffeine, and it crashed all the time. Others have told me they use it and it is perfectly stable.
Then I tried KMPlayer which was stable but featureless. Then MPlayer, which was also stable, but didn't seem to recognize some DVD menus.
Now I'm using a skinned version of xine, and it seems to both work well on my system and work well for me.
I haven't tried totem.
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