Here is the command to change the tab name:
dcop $KONSOLE_DCOP_SESSION renameSession "<new tab name>"
This assumes you are running in a command line shell where KONSOLE_DCOP_SESSION is set, which it won't be if, say, you ssh to a different machine.
I don't use vim so I can't give you a good answer to the other half of your question.
GreyBeard
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