ok well I managed to get to my menu.list yay!
"
...(blah blah)
title windows
map (hd0) (hd1)
map (hd1) (hd0)
chainload (hd1,0)+1
//(windows works incase you forgot)

###Don't change...
title SUSE LINUX 9.3
kernel (hd0,1)/boot/vmlinuz root=/dev/hda2 ... resume /dev/hda1 showopts
initrd (hd0,1)/boot/initrd

###don't change...
title Failsafe (pretty much same crap as one above with extra options not loaded and what not)
"

ok that is the short and sweet with all the good stuff...so do I need to change the suse linux 9.3 kernel to like (hdc, 1) or root/dev/hdc2 and resue /dev/hdc2 or what?

Your on the right track.

grub has hd0 as primary master. Need to change that to hd2. root=/dev/hda2 ... /dev/hda1 showopts need to get changed into /dev/hdc2 ... /dev/hdc1.

Basicly just replace hda with hdc, and hd0 with hd2.

I'm not sure what it is with grub, but with lilo you had to call on lilo to tell about the changed configuration. But i think its not needed with grub cause. But check on the man page of grub to be sure.

ok now I get boot device is not found immidatly when it tries to load either of the SUSE options, it used to at least recognize alot of hardware and load some kernels now it just repeats whatever I put in the menu.lst parameter under the LINUX title and sais its not found...so what else could be causing my problem?

the man on grub sais "GRUB automatically adopts the new parameters the next time the system is booted." so it should be ok after I make the changes...

ok I fixed it...I set the kernel and initrd locations back to where they were, cause it used to load those fine and changed the root to the /dev/hdc2 and resume /dev/hdc1 and now it loads everything fine!!

thanks for all the help man couldn't have done it without ya!!

Had to change fstab/mtab to get suse to recognize my harddrive for the windows but luckily I learned how to do that throughout this process so all is good!