It's already in my ld.so.conf, ran ldconfig a dozen times already, but it still didn't care about the include directory...
I can't use a configure option, it's cmake and not configure, and the cmake flags didn't work out either. Then I got pissed off, purged /opt/kde4 (hail to the rm -rf :P ) and made a new directory /kde in my root drive and installed everything, qt4.5, libqca and other stuff with prefix /kde and everything is working fine. Right now I'm writing from my new kde4 and still KDE3 is working fine with a few issues though, but I can live with that, I had to remove my ~/.kde dir but that's no big deal

Thanks for the reply, knudfl! I appretiate it

[edit]
Oh, forgot to mention, edited my bash_profile and basrc to include /kde/bin to the PATH and /kde/lib/pkgconfig to PKG_CONFIG_PATH and added /kde/lib to ld.so.conf