You can see the number of hard links using ls -l
Code:
$ ls -lh test.txt
-rw-r--r-- 1 user1 user1 300K 2010-11-03 08:44 test.txt
The number between the permissions and the owner is the number of hard links. The above example shows that the file test.txt has one hard link pointing to it.
The only way to find the soft links would be to perform an exhaustive search of the entire file system.