Hello! This is my first post here. I'm trying my best to get away from Windows. I started by trying to learn FreeBSD. I keep having problems with it and that community, at least on IRC, usually ridicules me and tells me to go back to Windows. So I thought why not try Linux?

Here's what I need:
The flavor I choose needs to be able to run on my laptop, a Dell Inspiron 3500. 30MHz, 128 MB RAM, and a NeoMagic video/sound combo chip.

I need to be able to easily travel from network to network by just jacking into an available RJ45. View .pdf and ghostscript files. View pictures that are downloaded from my digital camera.

That's really about all I need.

Oh! I'm also on dial-up, so when I want to get a new program I don't want to have to download all night.

I think you mean its a 300 MHz not 30MHz.
Well since you are on dial up, I would suggest that you get a copy of Knoppix or some other live CD. I use knoppix, while at work to test leach differnt laptop I work on to see if it will run. Check out www.distrowatch.com, there you will find a link to a cd vendor.
You could roll the dice and purchase Suse 9.1 , .9.2 and install it from the CD's. I got my brother running Suse 9.2, so far he has not called me for help! I would suggest www.linux-on-laptops.com but it seems that the two post for you type of notebook are now broken links.
The IRC channels can be tough, I really hate the RTFM responses..