Frequently I cannot do a remote connection from my ubuntu laptop to my remote ubuntu server.
Contents of /root/.vnc/xstartup file:
#!/bin/sh

# Uncomment the following two lines for normal desktop:
unset SESSION_MANAGER
exec /etc/X11/xinit/xinitrc

[ -x /etc/vnc/xstartup ] && exec /etc/vnc/xstartup
[ -r $HOME/.Xresources ] && xrdb $HOME/.Xresources
#xsetroot -solid grey
#vncconfig -iconic &
#xterm -geometry 80x24+10+10 -ls -title "$VNCDESKTOP Desktop" &
#twm &
startx &
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To restart, I stop the vncserver and cleand X11-unix dir and X1-lock file in /tmp directory
I verify with "ps aux" if xtightvnc process is still running. Sometimes I deleted by hand with kill -9 <pnumber> in order to restart
But sometimes like now, it does not work.

There is any decent and solid software to do this and been able to start automatically after system reboot?
I realize that this subject has been in your forum over and over again.
Everybody suggest a different solution.
Any more suggestions?
Thanks

Now few things to cross check

1.I am not very familiar with ubuntu commands but can you tell us what output do you get after restarting vncserver services. Like do you get a "[OK]" message which signs a successful restart.

2. have you checked your firewall and selinux which might be reason for not allowing clients to take remote.

to make sure you don't need to run the services every time you restart your server